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Saturday, December 13, 2008

Craig's List Mysteries

What is it about Craig's List that sucks me in?
I check it a couple times a day just to see what kind of treasures I might want to buy, or for things I see for sale that might spark a memory and cause me to sell something of my own.
Frankly there is some weird stuff out there and some even stranger people selling/buying things.

*Last night, I read a posting last night. For sale was a collection of 15 headless Barbies for $10, including a picture. Um, WTF is that about? Maybe little Jimmy who hates his sister will buy it and wrap it up as a creepy little Christmas present??
*Then there was the ad for the guy who had a snowblower to give away. I can't find the ad right now but went something like this. "Snowblower to give away, tonight only. It is a giant hunk of crap and I went to blow out my driveway tonight and it doesn't work. You can pick it up from my garage at (dude's address). Knock loud since I'll be in the basement drinking. Or better yet, pick up a 6 pack and join me." That one made me laugh.
*Then there are the posts pleading for help that sound like totally fake. "I need a car but can't afford one. Can I buy yours on a payment plan?" Or the ad pleading for help for a needy family..." know a guy who lost his job and he can't provide his family with a Christmas. send me gift cards or cash and I will be sure to get them to his family." You know, I am a big proponent for charity, but come on people, do I have SUCKER written on my forehead? I donate to REPUTABLE charities, not some kind of bogus scam secret charity, thank you.
*Why do 90% of the people who post ads have ZERO ability to spell? On any given night I can see ads for "Shrits," "sirts", or my personal favorite "shits." Yes thanks, I would love to buy your used shits, thanks for asking! Some of the typos are pretty comical.
*the people who answer ads are pretty interesting too. We just a sold a bunch of stuff from our basement in the past month and some of the folks were pretty strange. There were those that acted all hot to take your item, would make arrangements to come get it then never show. Then there were the really scary folks who showed up and you had to wonder about their mental stability..... can I get them out of the house fast enough??
Well anyway I have to go. I'm sure there are some new ads posted I have to check out.....

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Marble Theorem in Action

My friend has a theory about raising boys to be men. According to her hypothesis, all the marbles fall out each boy's head at puberty which is then filled with testosterone and at some time in the late teens/early twenties, at least some of the marbles are returned to that empty head, pushing out some of that testosterone and returning some common sense to their thought processes. In the meantime, a parent can only cross their fingers and pray that no one is hurt in the interim by the absence of brain cells.

Until this afternoon, it seemed as if we might be growing nearer to that moment. And then I came home from work.

As I turned the corner to reach my driveway, I see Nick walking out to the car Lucas drives with a BIG jar of bungee cords. Um, yeah, I can hardly wait to hear this one.

me: what are you doing?
Nick: the car won't start. We are going to push it into the garage to sit and warm up.
me: and the bungees are for.........?
Nick: I was going to rig something up to the steering wheel so no one has to sit in the drivers seat while we push. (Apparently, my son has aspirations to become the next McGyver...)
me: ................. uh, I don't think that's a good plan............
Nick: (shocked look) Really?
me: What was your plan if you needed to correct the steering? Or if you need to stop? Or if it starts to roll backwards as you are pushing it with the door shut and it's going to roll over one of you?
Nick: ......... uh yeah, Didn't think of that.

Plan B is formulated. I will sit in the car and steer/brake, the boys will push.

me: OK where are the keys?
Beefy: We can't use them cuz the car won't start.
me: ....?????...... How did you intend to take the car out of park to push it in the first place??
Beefy: Yeah, I'll go get the keys.

I put the keys in the ignition, the car turns right over and I drive it into the garage. The smell of gasoline is everywhere.

Beefy: How did you start it?? I tried for like a half hour and got nothing!
me: If you touch the accelerator, you flood the engine. If you leave it alone a bit, it fixes itself. The engine was just flooded, it's not magic.

I just have to wonder about what fiasco might have transpired had I not pulled up in time to avert it. I envision a drivers seat wrapped in bungee cords flipped upside down in the ditch across the street lying on top of my children. Or maybe seeking treatment in the ED for musculoskeletal injury from pushing and pushing and pushing a car that is geared firmly in Park. Wow.

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