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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Marble Theorem in Action

My friend has a theory about raising boys to be men. According to her hypothesis, all the marbles fall out each boy's head at puberty which is then filled with testosterone and at some time in the late teens/early twenties, at least some of the marbles are returned to that empty head, pushing out some of that testosterone and returning some common sense to their thought processes. In the meantime, a parent can only cross their fingers and pray that no one is hurt in the interim by the absence of brain cells.

Until this afternoon, it seemed as if we might be growing nearer to that moment. And then I came home from work.

As I turned the corner to reach my driveway, I see Nick walking out to the car Lucas drives with a BIG jar of bungee cords. Um, yeah, I can hardly wait to hear this one.

me: what are you doing?
Nick: the car won't start. We are going to push it into the garage to sit and warm up.
me: and the bungees are for.........?
Nick: I was going to rig something up to the steering wheel so no one has to sit in the drivers seat while we push. (Apparently, my son has aspirations to become the next McGyver...)
me: ................. uh, I don't think that's a good plan............
Nick: (shocked look) Really?
me: What was your plan if you needed to correct the steering? Or if you need to stop? Or if it starts to roll backwards as you are pushing it with the door shut and it's going to roll over one of you?
Nick: ......... uh yeah, Didn't think of that.

Plan B is formulated. I will sit in the car and steer/brake, the boys will push.

me: OK where are the keys?
Beefy: We can't use them cuz the car won't start.
me: ....?????...... How did you intend to take the car out of park to push it in the first place??
Beefy: Yeah, I'll go get the keys.

I put the keys in the ignition, the car turns right over and I drive it into the garage. The smell of gasoline is everywhere.

Beefy: How did you start it?? I tried for like a half hour and got nothing!
me: If you touch the accelerator, you flood the engine. If you leave it alone a bit, it fixes itself. The engine was just flooded, it's not magic.

I just have to wonder about what fiasco might have transpired had I not pulled up in time to avert it. I envision a drivers seat wrapped in bungee cords flipped upside down in the ditch across the street lying on top of my children. Or maybe seeking treatment in the ED for musculoskeletal injury from pushing and pushing and pushing a car that is geared firmly in Park. Wow.


Pat said...

Ahh, and I just thought it was the warm weather down here that made kids goofy.

Collin Kromke said...

What an awesome story! Only 6 more years and I'll have a GIRL driving, which should be an even greater adventure! ;)

Anonymous said...

ok, that's not how it went haha. i asked how we were going to get it out of park and you said to go get the keys.

Calyx Meredith said...

As the mother of four boys (three of whom are teenagers) I can believe the marble theorem. I don't like it, but it's on the money!

NursAdrn said...

Wow says it all! Sometimes; however, marbles are just plain lost.

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