There's Nothing Worse Than a Reformed Anything

Let me just preface this with a story from several years ago. The boys and I and my sister Michele and her 2 (at the time) kids took a nice little trip to Denver to visit our other sister Tracy. Tracy had really adopted the whole Colorado lifestyle and was eager to show all her favorite places. She took us up to the top of some mountain -like up where the mountain goats live, which was beautiful, but the air was really really really thin and made some of feel pretty lightheaded and sick. We made some dumb wisecracks to Tracy about "Granolas" in reference to the folks we were meeting in the Denver area. Tracy was pissed and if looks could have killed, we'd all have been dead. Due I think to lack of oxygen, we found this really funny. She still doesn't find the humor in it to this day.

Today I went to a seminar in Pewaukee, WI for work. I don't sit still well and after 90 minutes in the car and 4 hours of seminar, when we broke for lunch and I saw the fried, breaded mystery meat and bacon sandwiches on big white buns and fries, I decided to take a pass, make myself a protein shake I had in the car and take a walk instead to try to get rid of the ants in my pants and be able to focus in the afternoon session. It was starting to rain, but I didn't care much - I had a waterproof coat and an umbrella and a change of shoes in the car if I needed it. It was nice to get out and about and I am part Iron after all, so I already knew I was tough enough not to melt from a few raindrops.

As I finished up and walked towards the entrance there was a little flock of ladies surrounding the entrance puffing on their cigarettes, including the girl who was sitting near me in the classroom. She gives me a look like I have 3 heads for walking around in the rain, and then she says "Don't you have sense to come in from the rain? You didn't even eat lunch!"

I replied by telling her that I had brought something to eat since I know I can't really eat the types of foods they usually serve at seminars. She then clucked her tongue and said, "Yeah I guess you must be all ORGANIC GRANOLA type of person."

My first response was to tell this bitch to suck it, but Tracy's face popped into my mind and the look on her face that day on our trip, and I just had to smile.

My response? "Granola is too high in calories, I'm more free range chicken." And I kept walking. Puff on, bitch.

My Grampa Klumpp is often quoted as saying "There's nothing worse than a reformed anything," and I think that's probably very true....... reformed couch potato, reformed fat chick, reformed smoker. He's also known for asking what the display model at the checkout is and when told it's a tester, responded with "I knew a girl like that once." But that's a story for another time.