Yes I am a glutton for punishment .... the Dousman Duathlon report

Slept like crap but after waking up at 12:30 and downing a Tylenol, Advil, and naproxen cocktail, I got back to sleep until 0545 when Mike commanded me out of bed. I slipped on my cold weather gear, made up some oatmeal for the road, stuck a banana in my pocket and out the door we went.
After a little over an hour, we got to Dousman and got checked in. We set up transition and waited for our wave. We were originally going to just register on race day, but Friday they sent out an email saying we could register for the early bird price if we did it that day, saving us $70, so I did it, we were committed. It still meant we were in the final wave though. We were in wave 18 and 19 of 20, so we were waiting a while.
They finally called my wave -18 - then they called 19 and 20 to take off all together. Crap. No waves behind me. From the start of the first run I was DFL. Just by a few dozen yards, but last nonetheless. We went down a bike path for a while then veered out onto residential streets. before long I realized there was a scooter following me, the last runner. I think I had had just about enough of this shit for one weekend. It couldn't be called the Hearse like the sweeper van from yesterday, so I decided to call this dipstick the Grim Reaper. I was once again pissy about the escort. I kept waving him back, but he remained 10 feet or so behind me, nipping at my heels, revving up the scooter then letting out the throttle - VROOM putt putt putt VROOM putt putt putt. I got to the first course marshall I saw directing traffic and she was cheering "good job keep going" and I looked at her and growled "Tell this ass to get back and stay back. He needs to back off from me!" I think I shocked her a little but she held him up and told him to back off - thank you nice lady! Finished the first 2 mile run, garmin said 21:14.
Then it was T1 time and out the bike gate. I was the last bike in the racks. The.last.one. ..... Which I could hear the volunteers in the corral talking about. Loudly. "She's the last one in?" "Yep"..... Bummer.
Before long I was out on the bike course. It was windy and hillier than Mike led me to believe but I only swore under my breath at him a couple of times. He was far up ahead anyhow so he didn't hear me. I knew that I was the last bike, so I took kind of a sick pleasure in passing, oh, a couple hundred people or so. That was fun. My new pink IM Kona Elite helmet was sweet. Perhaps it would have been nice if I had remembered that last year when I was cold weather biking I had to wear a handkerchief under my helmet as a wind block. The new helmet has much bigger vent holes for better air movement which will be great on warm days. Since today was only about 45 degrees, with wind, and riding at 17-20 mph, I felt like I had the worlds worst ice cream headache/brain freeze for say 1:17:46, which incidentally is what the Garmin said was my bike time.
transitioned back out for T2. Took a little longer to get going since I knocked over a bike next to me putting on my shoes which i picked up. I was noticing there were still lots of empty bike slots near me, so was feeling pretty good about the bike.
The last run was what it was. Shuffled my way through it as best I could. managed to pass a couple people, not sure how. Saw Mike on the sideline and waved. Came through the chute and to the finish. There, done. Final Garmin Time: 2:01:40 altogether. Official result say 2:04:31.5
(690/797 overall 11/13 Athena )
Last year, the announcer was great. He announced every person through the chute with their name and city, Mike Reilly-style (the voice of Ironman). "Mike Wimmer of Janesville - you are about to cross the finish line of the 2006 Dousman DU-ath-a-lon!" It was cool. This year Mike Reilly sound-alike guy was not there and I missed him. Blah, bland finish. No hoopla. No fanfare.
I had fun. I was glad to be done. And now I am glad to be home lying on the couch, lounging and relaxing.
The ride home was interesting. We were trying to get back to watch my sister in a 5K in Riverside Park. we got off the Interstate at Johnson Creek and as we headed into Jefferson, the main streets were completely blocked off for some German fest parade. We did the re-route from hell and made it back just in time to see Michele finish. She can tell her own story though. Jake and I rang the cowbells and Jake ran his momma in.

Full Moon 5K - the Race Report

Tonight we drove to Madison for the Full Moon Run, a 5K Mike did last year with Jeff. We parked in Olin-Turville Park and headed to the shelter to register. For our $15 race fee we not only did not have to pay extra for race day registration, but instead of the bag advertised, we got Mizuno tech tees from Moving Shoes- SWEET! So far, best goodies value for the money by far.
The Schwag: several keychains that look like Reebok runnign shoes, a little rubber bracelet for my nephew Jake, a clip on flasher, and a Mizuno tech tee.

The race started on the other side of Monona Bay at 9PM (that's 2100 for you military type folks, so I thought I would include civilian time so as not to get Bigun all ruffled up again.... :-) ), which was about a 15-20 minute hike from the Park along the beach. It was buggy and we couldn't wait to get started since we were getting bitten alive by skeeters the size of pigeons.


I looked around at the crowd of about 400 and picked some folks that looked like they were about my size/speed. I picked a few folks to keep my eye on and we were read to go.


This was an interesting run. I had never done an event in the dark before. I took off with the pack and it was motivating to stay with them since it was dark and I didn't want to lose sight of them. We all got flashing light things to wear, which was really helpful in sighting where we were headed.


Because it was dark, it was harder to push the pace, but it was also harder to watch the pace on the Garmin, so tonight was about pushing perceived effort and not worrying about watching the numbers on the Garmin - no HR pacing, no pace data, just me and listening to how on fire my lungs and legs felt.


We started in the back of the pack and I stayed on Mike's heels for a while, mostly because he was emailing taunts to me all day trying to egg me on. Someday I will be able to keep pace with him and make him eat my dust, but tonight was not the night. I passed a few folks in the first mile, but made the most headway after the 1 and 2 mile markers. You could almost see it on the runners who slowed to walk after these markers say to themselves "What! Ive only gone a MILE! I gotta walk...." Slowly I overtook them, and said Good Job as I passed by whenever I could (sometimes I was pushing so hard I couldn't talk). I passed Old Guy and his wife. I passed the cross country kids who pooped out after mile 2. I passed Rocket Kid who took out from the start like his pants were on fire, then lost his mojo along the way. After mile 2, I came up on the Chubby Red Shirt Girls I had eyed up at the start. I passed them and stayed a few hundred yards ahead - yeah me. They were my goal people I had set myself to pass and I had. As we neared Olin-Turville and the finish, they suddenly ran past me with a big burst. The last 1/4 mile was up a huge hill after pushing it on a really flat course, and the Red Shirt Girls lost oomph as they neared the top of the hill. Since I am used to finishing uphill, I felt pretty at home and kicked it down, re-passing them and going as fast as I could down the short downhill and through the chute. Final time on the clock .....33:08 by their clock, 33:15 by the Garmin, but as usual I forgot to hit stop when I crossed the finish (I always get a few seconds of standing around until Mike yells "Stop your timer!!!" - every race, without fail). I am very satisfied with that. I was panting pretty hard and I don't think I could have pushed much harder.


Would I do it again? maybe. it's pretty late to start and tomorrow's a work day. I plan to be tired. It was fun though and the Tshirt whore got a techie tee, so it's all good. We'll see.





What I learned for next year:


- Bring bug spray.... lakeside + dusk = bug bites


- Bring water, there are no water stops


- Remember to bring your race belt..... hey


- Headlamp?? maybe, I 'll have to think about it. I have one, but when I wear it Mike calls me The Miner

THE OFFICIAL RESULTS ARE IN:

32:11.89 (official time) 137/162 female, 27/38 age group, 314/348 overall

(GRRRR- 2 seconds over my PR time and STILL in the back of the pack - last year I was 5-7 minutes longer and middle fo thepack - What gives????)

Party Like a Rock Star- the Janesville Triathlon Report

First off, I should probably apologize to you all for leaving you hanging in suspense for so long for my race results. I am sure no one has gotten a THING done today waiting on me to get this report written.
This has been a very busy week trying to wrap up all the details of my last week of assignments and papers to be written for school. As of last Sunday, I had only to write up 6 lengthy written assignemnts, take 3 tests and a final exam for my last 2 classes (Community Nursing and Intro to Theater), and write a large, involved project paper for my last Nursing class. I somewhow managed to wrap it all up. At about 2100 tonight, I finally submitted my last paper which ended up being 25 pages of written work and more than 40 hours of writing and research. I am exhausted and my brain is completely numb, but sending in that last paper is my last task for completing the requirement for a B.S. in Nursing from Ball State University. Graduation will take place next weekend in Muncie Indiana. Even as tired as I am now I could cartwheel around my entire yard to finally be done. For this last 2 classes this summer I have entirely lacked in the motivation department, so I am ecstatic to have finally finished up. I might even try to find time to read a book that I did not purchase from a textbook library.
And now for the moment you have all been waiting for .............. (drumroll please) ........ the race report from the Janesville YMCA Triathlon yesterday. The day started well. I got up, got dressed polished off some cranberry oatmeal and tried to move the slow men in my household out the door at a reasonable time. (have you ever heard that women were slow? the opposite is true at my house.... I sat in the car waiting for everyone else to come outside when it was time to leave)
Mike was obviously on the verge of a nervous breakdown and watching him made me nervous for him. My mission was to remain as calm as possible and try to de-escalate his anxiety by being calm and comforting myself. So we drove down to Lions Beach, unpacked our stuff, picked up our packets, got marked, and set up our transition areas next to each other. We talked for a while to the SWAT members hanging around, said hi to my sister and her kids, chatted with my mom and some friends and before long it was time to hit the beach.
Mike and I stood together. he was in wave 7, I was in wave 9. After some race instructions we couldn't hear, they started us off. I watched folks swim out in heats of 30. It didn't seem to look all that far and they had a lane marker strung out to the turnaround buoy. I saw all kinds of chaos out there - breast strokers, sidestrokers, backstrokers, and some unidentifiable strokes. With the small waves, it looked like the takeoff was going to be manageable. I got Mike into the water and watched him swim out. It hit me then - I was going to do this and Mike's fate was in his own hands now.
As I waited for my heat, I worked myself up into a real lather. I lost sight of Mike and got worried. Then I started worrying about myself. Before long we took off. The water was cold and I was worked up. I got kicked in the chest as we waded out to where I couldn't touch anymore. I started out with a breaststroke, but when I tried to put my face in the water, I got panicky. I couldn't see a thing. My heart raced, I couldn't catch my breath and I was freezing. Mentally I tried to calm myself as I tried to move forward. It took me until I reached the buoy to finally gain control of my faculties. I found myself stuck between a freestyler that was weaving all over and I couldn't get around and a chick doing the elementary backstroke. On my right the weaver was ramming me, on my left the elementary chick wa kicking me like an eggbeater. I finally swerved way out and got ahead of them, hopefully for good. The last half of the way back I found my groove. By the time I realized I was close, I stood up and I was only in water up to my knees. I ripped off the goggles and cap and started running up the beach. I couldn't find anyone I recognized but I could hear the SWATs screaming my name. Man, they sure know how to make you feel like a rock star. I was looking around for a face who could tell me if Mike was out of the water and someone shouted "your husband just got out - he's maybe a minute ahead of you!" I was so happy to hear he was safe and had gotten the swim done. I ran up the beach and tackled him in transition with a hug and a peck and got to getting the transition thing done.
Here is where I dicovered I had not remembered to prep my shoes. I fought with the ratchet on my bike shoes, unable to get the quick release to release and let me get my Flintstone feet into them. They finally relented and I got them on, I picked up the gloves and threw them on the ground, threw on my belt and took off.
The bike was awesome and I got to pass folks right and left. one guy pulled up to me about halfway through and said "If you didn't notice I was just drafting off you for a while." He sat on my wheel and really started to piss me off so I took off ahead of him every time he tried to keep drafting. what an ass. I finally told him to stop it and took off. I was trying to see his number to report the draft, but I never was able to get it. The bike was really windy and the course was backwards from how we practiced, but I still knew it and felt really comfortable giving it all I had. I love the bike and I knew it was my only shot at making up time.
I got back to transition and started power changing. In the picture below I was asking the SWATs and my family type folks where Mike was. They said I just missed him and I remember saying "Now I'll never kick his ass!" and my mother kidding me about saying ass. I hollered back that if she had been listening better earlier she could have heard me say the F word. I remember hearing Lucas say "Oh my God I just heard my gramma say ass."
On that note I took off and laughed to myself all the way up the street. i was so twitterpated I forgot to grab my Garmin for the run off my handlebars. and my Ipod. RATS! that made for a long run with no tunes for cadence control and no idea how fast I was going.
The run sucked, plain and simple. I.HATE.RUNNING.
but it was the last 4 miles of the race so I sucked it up and went as fast as I could stand. People passed me right and left anyway, men, women, children, turtles, you name it. Trying to amuse myself without and Ludacris to listen to, I searched for a phrase to describe getting passed by so many . I remembered a RWOL post lamenting getting "chicked" at races (passed by women) and decided my version was called getting chiched and dicked. I approached the turn into Lions Beach preparing myself mentally to be able to see the finsh line and then get redirected out another mile before actually finishing. Whoever designed that has a cruel streak..... it was helpful to know I just had a mile left so I gave it all I had until I got to the finish. Final time on my watch 1:51:00, -about 10minutes for the swim shore to shore, 51:00 on the Garmin for the bike, and the rest was run and transition time. it was about what I had figured on, a little too long for the run but that is so variable from day to day that I just take what I can get. There were people behind me so I was not last, which is alwasy good.
Got packed up and headed home after some visiting, feeling pretty good about the whole thing.
After a while Martin called to tell me I took second place in the Athena group, with Allison in first place. So now I was not only an official traithlete, I was also sporting some bling. Sweet.
My brother in law Jeff and his brother Brad did the tri too and kicked butt. We went to a party in the afternoon at Brad's house, then joined the SWAT team at the Speakeasy for dinner. What an awesomely fun day. I had a blast (and I think I ate one of everything, but who cares? ).

Now for the thank yous -

Thanks to Mike for helping me work so hard
Thanks to my boys for coming to root us on and take pictures
Thanks to my sister Michele for spotting Mike on the swim and helping him feel comfortable in the water, for supporting us, and all the million things she does to help us out and support us on race days

Thanks to my mom (pictured) for coming to cheer us on.
(Just in case you didn't know it, my family totally rocks)
Thanks to the SWATs for the support during practice times and for rolling out the ROCK STAR treatment before, during, and after the race. You have no idea how much that means to me and how motivational it is to have a cheering section.
Thanks too to all of you who read me and sent encouraging words, help, and support.
And let me not forget to thank the academy..........
(if I forgot to mention anyone, I didn't mean to)

here are the results: 170/224 overall, 2/3 Athena ---> swim- 10:50 (135th) bike+T1- 54:24 (109th) Run +T2- 46:15 (194th) = Final time 1:51:27

What I learned:
- I need to practice open water swimming........ alot.
- I can't forget to prep my shoes again. undo the bike shoes, untie the double knots on my running kicks.
- Do something different with the Garmin and Ipod. They make a big difference on the run
- swim 2 minutes faster than Mike so next time *I* win............ (you listening big guy? Bring it on!)

Rock and Roll Rookie Run 10K

Today was the Rock and Roll Rookie Run in Middleton, the race Michelle Alswager was in charge of and has hounded us to do since we saw her last fall at the Run for the Rivers.
It was a good run for me. I won't call it a race because it really isn't about competing for me (Thank God for that! I would really be down if it were important!..... unless there were medals for bottom 3....) I finished, I wasn't last, and it didn't kill me. And I got to giggle at the old guy in split shorts with his wrinkly ass cheek hanging out in the wind..... I was just wondering what he was thinking when he decided on THAT outfit this morning. I got to clap at one of the two people I knew were behind me as we crossed paths on the final loop towards the finish line and tell her "Good Job!" And we got to meet Colin, a nice guy we met for the first time today, even though we have been at lots of the same races. It was a double loop course, and I thought it was a nice course. Mike whined about the hills, but I really didn't think it was that hilly. However I do live on a killer hill so maybe that clouds my judgement, who knows. For those of you that are data hounds, you can see the run here.
When the run was done, we chatted with Colin a while and waited for them to deliver our medals. When that didn't pan out, we decided to move on with our plans for the day. Since it was right there in the same shopping center where the race took place, we headed over to Endurance House to check it out. I bought a new watch (a girly purple Ironman Timex), some Yanks, and a new race number belt. I did find an awesome wetsuit, but somehow restrained myself from buying it - it was PINK for goodness sake, how perfect is THAT!!!?? It is going to be tough to resist going back for her.
(BTW, speakingof wetsuits - I have had at least 3 conversations in the last week about how everyone pees in their wetsuits when they swim in them, apparently to keep warm?? Eww... gross. I had absolutely no idea this was common practice, let alone something people would share openly....I glad that I had those conversations before considering buying a used one on eBay or renting one from somewhere to try it out. Can you imagine wearing someone elses toilet suit - gross.)
After my retail therapy session, we headed over to Olin-Turville Park to ride the Madison bike paths. We had the mt bikes with us so the ride was slower, but the scenery was great. I wanted to practice clipping into the MTB cleats so I am ready for Monday's Velo Club ride and will hopefully have a better night. Saw a lot of wildlife - turkeys, deer, sandhill cranes, other birds, and other little critters. as we started out, I was just fascinated by all the butterflies (little black ones with orange and white markings) that were EVERY WHERE. It was really cool, for a while anyway. Then they somehow became kamikaze butterflies. They were bouncing off my forehead, lodging into the vents of my helmet, flying into my jersey. Not nearly as cute as it was at first. And they HURT when they bounced off my head! If you are interested in the data, you can find it here.
While we were biking, I decided our bikes need names. I named Mike's mountain bike "Superbee" because of its yellow and black paint job, and his love of the old car. He decided to call it "Hemi" for short. I settled on "Veronica" for my mountain bike, mostly because it sounds like a really bitchy girls name and since she keeps throwing me off the bike every time I ride it, the name fits perfectly. I also decided that I would name the OCR road bike "Angelina" since when we are having a good riding day, I feel like some unmentionable parts of my body are a little puffy and swollen, kind of like Angelina Jolie's lips..........
Any suggestions for Mike's OCR? I am thinking maybe "Blackbeard"...... like the pirate......... ARGGG.

The Beloit Biathlon.... It's all about the bling

This morning Mike and I and my brother-in-law Jeff took a quick drive down to Beloit for the YMCA 18th Annual Beloit Biathlon. It took off from Beloit hospital's parking lot and was a shorted 2 mile course for the first run, an 11 mile out and back loop for the bike, followed by another 2 mile shorted course.

We got all signed in and set up our transition areas and before long we were off and running. Since it was such a short course for all the legs, I had already decided I was going to go as hard as I could and see what I had in me. My legs were a little sore today from the 10K Thursday night, but I was giving it anyway.

Mike and I were in Wave 3 for the takeoff and Jeff was in Wave 5. We took off running down West Hart Road, and before I knew it most everyone was ahead of me. I tried to keep Mike in sight at least but after a while I gave up on that too and just concentrated on taking nice long strides and the fastest pace I could sustain. most of the time, my garmin pace was between 9:30 and 10:30, which is pretty quick for me. pretty soon we had looped back into the hospital parking lot and onto my bike. Mike was already gone at that point, so I ripped off my jacket and threw on my shoes and was off again. The transition gates weren't well marked so I lost a few seconds trying to go the wrong way but was quickly redirected. The bike was windy but I managed to smoke a lot of people anyway and got smoked by a few myself. I love this leg of the races - its about the only time I can pass folks up and look strong. Just before the turnaround in Turtle township, I heard a familiar voice behind me. Jeff had caught up to me and passed me like I was standing still. I hollered out some words of encouragement (I think it was something like "Bastard!" which I hope he knew meant "great job Jeffy!!" :-) ) Caught some tailwind on the way back and kicked her into the big ring most of the way back. The transition went well and the run was quick, I gave it all I had. My garmin clocked me at 1:13, but I am waiting for the official times and splits since mine were pretty imprecise.

My splits are not very accurate since I have a bad habit of forgetting to lap myself until too late. The first one I forgot to split my transition at all, so I have a lap clock somewhere in the middle of transition. The next transition is marginally accurate, and the stop time is pretty off too and includes a little bit of getting my chip stripped off and standing around chatting...... GRRRR.

Knowing that last year their were only 4 Athenas I knew I had a shot at medaling and I was right. I have no idea how many were in my division, but I do know I took second place in it. i got to go up and collect my medal, which was cool and a first ever experience. Looking at the medal on the way home, I had to chuckle to myself. The YMCA events both the Janesville ones and elsewhere seem to always just miss the mark as far as organization goes. This was no exception. The race was pretty organized with a couple minor snafus, however the medals were all engraved for the event and said "18th Annual Beloit Wellness Biathlon 2008." Apparently I won my division at next years race already. Funny.

We jokingly say the races are all about the shirt (my sister calls Mike the Tshirt Whore - lol), but since the tshirt is kind of ugly, it's really all about the bling for me today. Might as well enjoy the moment, who knows if I will ever be here again!

Kudos to Mike and Jeff for beating me to the finish again. I think maybe thats secretly why they bring me - at least they know their will be one person behind them eating their dust - good job guys!

Happy Nurses Day! (and a race report)

Well we did our first 10K race tonight after work, the Meriter Nurses Day Run. We left right after work (to get there in time to register - I forgot to get us pre-registered for this one - Oops!).
The race began behind the Vilas Zoo in Madison and wound around behind Edgewood College, around the golf course and through the arboretum. It was uphill the first half and mostly downhill on the second half, which was a nice break. It was shady and pretty, keeping us pretty cool despite the near 80 temps. In the arboretum, I had a pack of turkeys (what is the plural for turkeys - flock? gaggle? I don't really know....) that was across the street in the brush and I worried for a time they might swarm me and start throwing spurs as they started to run parallel to me along the other side of the road, but they eventually stopped and stayed put.
When I reached the mile marker for mile 4, in my head I mistakenly thought I had only a mile left to go and a lot of gas in the tank so I took off as fast as I could go. As I was running that mile, I redid the math in my head and realized that there were TWO+ miles left and so I slowed it up a little until I got to mile marker 5. (mental note: never rely on math done in your head while trying to run fast , especially when cursed with a fuzzy math gene.) After that, I took off and ran the last 1.2 miles as fast as I could.
I am feeling pretty good about the race. My Garmin time was 1:10:04, no official results are posted that I can find yet. I finished it, I did my best, I had fun, I managed to pass at least 6 people, in fact all of them I set in my mind to play cat and mouse with, and - BONUS - I was injury-free (this was the same course I sprained my ankle on in September at the Zoo Run Run).
Today is national Nurses Day. Take a minute next time you see a nurse and thank her/him for all they do to help make/keep you healthy. Like everyone else, we work hard for too little appreciation sometimes and it's good to hear that we have made a difference in someone's life.

UPDATE: The official results are up and can be found by clicking here. The highlights are:
286/294 overall, 46/50 age group, 145/152 female, 11:17 pace, 1:09:44 chip time.

2006 Outdoor Mileage Report

Well, I have looked at many other people's blogs and marvel at the amount of mileage they have logged, wondering where my own mileage would be if I added it up. There are a couple things that have held me back from figuring it out, such as:

• I have outdoor activity logged in 3 different Garmins, first as a spotty once-in-a-while recording on Mike's Garmin, then on my own, then on the replacement after Maddy ate the first one.
• Especially as we first started exercising, a lot of our activity was tracked on indoor equipment and as minutes, not miles.
• A lot of activity this late Fall/Winter have been indoors too - it would be a major endeavor to try to tablulate that mileage accurately.

So after many days of thinking about it, I decided to take the easier road of my options and at least tabulate OUTDOOR mileage, which is the real thing rather than the indoor simulation. Or at least from the time I started recording it regularly until now.

Running Miles for 2006: 124.82 miles

Total Cumulative Miles to date: 141.55 miles

Road Bike miles for 2006/cumulative miles to date: 393.23 miles

I am not as impressed as I thought I would be. Be on the lookout next year for much more impressive numbers. 2007 is bound to me a much higher mileage year!

My Naughty Dog Is Dead Meat

my dog Maddy is such a shithead. I think I have finally come to grips with this simple fact.

She will be 2 this year and is the most destructive dog I have ever owned. Maddy has always been a chewer. When she was a puppy, she would shred toilet paper while I showered so it looked as if it were snowing by the time I was done. She once ate a stack of shipping boxes, creating a cardboard snowstorm. She has roughly 100 chew toys, tennis balls, rawhide bones, and a plethora of other toys to distract her from her mission in life - destroying anything of value in her path.

In the few years she has been alive she has been responsible for a massive amount of destruction. Her partners in crime are my 2 teenage sons who are often charged with watching her but pay very little attention to what she is doing when I'm not home. Last year, she chewed the corners off the new oak cabinets in my newly built house. That was the beginning of a long string of inappropriate chewy toys. Among other things, she has eaten the remote controls to all the TVs in the house, several video game controllers, lots of computer cable, at least 6 retainers. We resigned ourselves to lock her in a kennel whenever we were gone, which seemed to curb the problems. The day the boys went back to school this fall, they forgot to put her into her cage...... she proceeded to chew the cordless phone into a milion billion bits. Maddy is officially an electronics specialist- like everyone else in this house, she loves her gadgets. The only difference is we like to play with them, she however likes to EAT them! Lots of lectures ensued about responsibility and controlled containment strategies. Vows were given that it would never ever ever happen again - "promise."

Today, my hubby met me at the door and said "your kids aren't getting anything for Christmas." Then he hugged me. THe boys forgot to kennel her when they left for school today. Never one to pass up an opportunity to east soemthing of value, Maddy the Destroyer had eaten my Garmin 301, my most prized possession. She tried to eat my iPod too but only managed to mangle the charging cord and the cute pink leather case. She ate the buttons off the Garmin and munched on the screen so it is totally black. Because the buttons are chewed off, I can't get it to power off and quit beeping. With every sickly beep I would like to wring her stupid neck with the Garmin strap. Lucky for her, she ate the strap too.