You know you've missed my pictures, So here you go!

This morning we got Lucas off to his drive time for Drivers Ed, then headed to Madison to pick up our race packets at the Expo.

Here is the free stuff (minus all the stupid flyers and discount cards). Not much, but we DID get a free cowbell!

Here' the shirt. Tech tee. Cool. The back says finisher so I can't try it on til the race is over. Bad mojo and all that. Mike is pouting because the XL is none too XL.

We found a few things to buy. Here is the graphic on the shirts we bought to wear tomorrow. Pretty sweet.

Yeah. They pretty much saw us coming a mile away. Picked just a few necessities- new lucky Balega socks, the brat shirts, a pair of Race Ready compression shorts for me with a pink zip case for my Fuel Belt to store some of my favorite paper products tomorrow, a gel flask for Mike and the new Caffeinated Sports Beans and some Shot Blocks.

After the Expo we headed up to the Capital Square for the Farmers Market. There was lots of good stuff to eat, and freaky people to watch- Granolas with blond ratty dreadlocks and tie dye tshirts, Bible thumpers preaching the Apocalypse and shaking signs around, and some sort of impromptu anti-war musical/play on the lawn of the Capital building. We ate some yummy stuff but the only thing we brought home was a free bumper sticker for Beefcake's new car. He was thrilled by the way. We stopped at this great nursery on the way home and picked up some great flowers for the house.

Here are the 2 ginourmous hanging baskets for the back deck. What I like best? Petunias are pretty hard to kill. Important stuff for my house.

Big planter for the front step. Matches the siding.
To the far left, we got some hanging bags full of wave petunias to hang from the lights and you can see the planter too on the right. Rascal's rock garden ready to bloom any time now. Looks great with the construction backdrop from the Parker school renovation wouldn't you say?

One of many artsy fartsy shots. I'll spare you the rest.

The very first Clematis bloom of the year form the trellis. There's like a hundred more ready to pop.


Proof positive the Mike "I'm not grouchy" Wimmer always looks grouchy and always says he's not. Always.


My 2 favorite dogs chillin in the back yard, Daisy and Maddy. Also known these days as Fanny Fat Ass and Betty Big Butt.

Back in the Saddle Again

Today I took short slow run after 9 days of rest from running. This was intentional - I was trying to give my IT band a rest and see if it helped with pain. I had to try SOMETHING..... there's this marathon in like 12 days and it would be nice to be in some sort if injury-free state so I can attempt to finish it instead of sitting at Bratfest waiting for Mike to come over the timing mat. I could eat a lot of brats in 5-6 hours, especially if I am feeling sorry for myself for missing a race.

So anyhow I prepared to run by popping in my Yoga for Athletes DVD and doing about 35 minutes of yoga as a pre-run stretch. I took it very easy, did a little walking and waited for the familiar pain twinges to set in. Funny thing was they never really kicked in. I was a little sore from time to time, but nothing like the searing pain that has led to my extreme frustration these last few weeks that rendered me virtually unable to complete my final build in volume for the Madison Marathon. Now that I am feeling a little better, I should be tapering.

Anyone have suggestions where I should be going with these last 12 days? I frankly am at a loss. I am resolved to go for it, be undertrained, and hope for the best.

I also took the pups in for their checkups. Daisy, my 10 year old ESS, got a clean bill of health. They said she's old (DUH) and she has a chipped tooth (probably from holding rocks in her mouth from time to time). Maddy is also a pretty healthy girl too. She's about 3 1/2, and still acts like a dumb puppy, but age is catching up to her a little too. I noticed when I gave them their spring buzz cut that her hiney was a bit larger than when I shaved her in the fall. Well after setting Betty Big-Butt on the scale, we saw the cold hard truth - 56 pounds! That is an 11# gain (24%!!!) since her last visit 10 months ago. Time for Maddy to quit eating both bowls of food when her sister's not looking. Also started her on a little doggy Detrol to address her little "leakage" issues. We shall see if that works.

Getting to the vet was interesting. Maddy is a nervous car rider and requires an empty stomach and some dramamine for every trip, no matter how short. The last time we went to the vet, she barfed 3 times on the way there (the vet is about 6-7 miles away). Today, we got to within sight of the building before she let the first (and only) gutload loose. YEAH! AND she didn't puke at all on the way home. Double yeah! If your interested, the Toyota Matrix is a godsend for those with queasy dogs - when you fold the seats down, the surface is hard plastic - no carpet- making cleanup a breeze. On the downside, braking and turning sends them skidding across the car. It's also pretty little and one of my dainty girls was letting some RANK nervous farts, so it was kind of like rolling down the road in a mobile latrine.

The Accidental Half

Monday was a beautiful afternoon, sunny and warm with a nice breeze. I got out of work about 3 pm and Mike had to work late, so I had some time to kill. I thought since I missed my long run a couple days prior that I would sub the quick 2 miler on my plan with a long run in the country. Mike had been talking about a new route he wanted to try that was a modification of one of our biking routes. If you go straight at Rockport and cut back into town, it was a 7 mile loop. If you went out a little further and picked up the bike trail you end up by Fisher Creek trailhead and it's 10 miles. In my head, I thought I had a pretty firm grip on where the routes went and where to turn on them. my plan was to go for the 10 miler, but if I felt like I couldn't do it, I would just cut in and do the 7 mile loop when I got to that point. I loaded up my fuel belt with 4 bottles of Powerade Zero and a bag of Clif Blocks. I took off into the country at a comfortable pace, not worrying about going fast because I was going long.

I've noticed lately I have had a really hard time getting going the first couple miles, so I just roll with it. i run a while, then walk a few hundred feet, then run some more. No big whoop, and it seems to pass after I have 2 or 3 miles under my belt.

The first thing I noticed is how frigging hilly this route is. I bike this all the time and know they are rollers, but on foot it feels like constant mountain climbing and descents with very few flats. I got a few miles into the run and got onto Rockport Road. As I crested the first hill, I noticed a dog running towards me from the house across the street, a big brindle colored Pit Bull, barking at me from his yard aggressively. I hollered "Stop! Go Home!" This brought him out into the road, barking and growling at me. Shit. I try to remember dog spray when I am in the country. Not today. All I had to defend myself was my wits (not much of weapon) and a squirt bottle of powerade. I squirted some at him. I think I heard him laugh at me. I started yelling as loud as I could towards the house "Come and Call your F'ing Dog!!!" over and over and ordering him to stop and go home. He kept trying to get behind me so I was walking backwards down the street so I could see him. As he stepped out into the road again, still growling, a car came over the hill and stopped in front of the dog, next to me. He heard me yelling and started honking his horn at the dog, which finally turned the dog towards his house. I shouted a thank you and ran away hell bent for election.

As it came to decision time for the route length, I decided I had almost enough drink left for a 10 miler (slightly at risk for being a little dry but not bad), so I took a right up Hayner Road and right into a headwind. I ran and ran for a couple miles (didn't realize until this time that country "blocks" are all almost exactly 1 mile long...)I passed a couple turns and headed towards the corner that would take me around it and to where the bike trail starts right by the poop plant. As I neared this corner I started doing some math in my head....... no way was this going to be a 10 miler - try more like 14....... crap. Realizing that I was somehow way off course and way undersupplied with fluids and nibbles, I slowed way down to conserve energy. As I ran and pondered, I decided to run slowly to the 10 mile mark, then walk home from that point, with finding a place to refill my bottles as a priority. I was certain that there was a bubbler along the bike trail somewhere. Ya know what? I was wrong. I got to the 10 mile mark, which was a real struggle. After that, I pretty much walked the rest of the way. I was way far out of water and there were NO options to refill. No big deal, I wouldn't really need it if I walked the rest of the way. Problem was I was only at the Fisher creek trail head, estimated quickly as about 4 miles out from home yet.

I saw a shortcut up the onramp to the Crosby bridge, so I headed over the railroad tracks and across the marshy boggy spots to take the detour. I just wanted to get home. My long run was pushing 3 hours, no one knew what I was doing, and I still had a long way yo go. I had my cell phone, but was just too stubborn to call. I reasoned with myself - your legs don't hurt THAT bad, you are closer than you think, it's just a couple miles, Come on cowgirl up you've got a marathon in a little more then a month. by the time I was a mile or so from home, I was visualizing the straightest line to my house, cutting through back yards and any which way to save steps. Ended up with just under 13 miles, just short of a half-marathon. By accident. With nowhere near the supplies I needed. Stoo-pid!

I walked into the house and looked at Mike's mad face. I introduced myself to him as the stupidest person alive today.

As he looked at my Garmin map, he said "I see where you went wrong - you forgot to turn left where I told you to." Well, no shit.

That evening, my legs cramped up. my knee (in particular my left IT band) was killing me. Tuesday, I could barely walk and stairs were definitely out. What an idiot.

Monday's lessons:

1) Uh yeah. Double up on the liquids you bring. Especially if you don't have a place to refill them if they are empty.

2) Perhaps if you are visualizing a map in your head, you should consult an ACTUAL visual image of said map. Then you know you are discussing the specifics of the same map.

3) If you realize you have gone horribly wrong somehow, quit being a martyr already and call for a ride. Seriously.

4) Dog Spray is like American Express. Never leave home without it.

Today the knee felt better so I opted for a short recovery run. It was slow and I still have some knee twinges, but overall not too bad, just slow.

Saturday is the crazylegs 8K. Fun Race - I hope I'm feeling up to it!

Catching Up with J-Wim

Thursday: Since it was my birthday, I took the day off from exercising. Mike took us to Mac's Pizza Shack for the buffet, which is my alltime favorite pizza. Mike let me mow the lawn on the rider because I like it, even though I know it was secretly driving him crazy that I didn't do it "right" (translation: Mike's way).

Friday: It was back to the grindstone after work. Mike, Lucas, and his buddy Justin lifted weights at the Y. While they were busy puffing out their chests and squeezing each others biceps, I went to the pool and cranked out some laps for the first time in a while. I did 2000+ yards, then wound it up since i figured they were probably about done lifting. It felt great to get in the pool again and after getting warmed up I was going nice and steady without dying (always a plus!).

Saturday: Did not do much of anything - some errands, some grocery shopping, took a nap while Mike waxed his cars. Lazy, lazy, lazy day. Boring. I loaded up the iPod with some new tunes (thanks Michele! She gave me a Itunes card for my birthday). Some of the great running tunes I added:

Kanye West - Stronger (great for hills!)

Soulja Boy - Crank That (I can't sing along, but it makes me laugh- when it's on I picture the Pooh style video to the right --------------> )

Run DMC- It's Tricky (great beat!)

50 Cent - I Get Money

Timbaland- The Way I Are

Seether - Fake It

Maroon 5 - Wake Up call

Finger Eleven - Paralyzer

Plain White T's - Delilah

The Game- Lets Ride

Unk - Walk It Out

TI - You Know What it is

Rubberband Man

Sunday: I had had it with sitting around! Mike was out playing with his moneypit in the garage, so I decided to take off on a nice long run. I took off past the high school, over to the country club golf course, down through Riverside Park, up the Kiwanis trail next to the Rock River, over to Court Street, then zigzagged through my neighborhood for some hill work before I headed back past the high school and to home. My right hip, knee, and first tarsal head were really hurting me off and on through the run so I did have to walk here and there, but I did get in 10.36 miles by the time I got back home, in just about 2 hours. I played my new playlist over and over - it was AWESOME!!!!

It was a great day out, sunny and cool, so After grabbing a quick lunch I decided to take the dogs for a walk to Blockbuster to return our movies. It was about 4 miles altogether. It was good for the dogs and gave me a chance to burn off a few more calories and get some more activity in. let me tell you - the Gentle Leader Walk Harness is about the best invention EVER. I can walk my spastic unruly Springers with one finger once we get going. With anything else I pretty much feel like my rotator cuffs are completely ripped out from all the pulling, jumping, and yanking.

Today: Mike went for a run, but my legs were a little sore yet from yesterday's big run so I went to the Y pool instead. I got 2460 yds in. I was shooting for 3000, but a there was only 1 lane open and a couple got into the lane with me (there were swim lessons taking place in the rest of th pool) and they were all over the place, swimming a few strokes then stopping to pant and walk, then swimming a couple strokes. They were driving me crazy and I was kinda tired anyhow, so I hung up my goggles and hit the shower. The thing with the pool at the YMCA is that it is onyl a 20 yd pool. They dug up the regulation size pool and are r emodeling it into a waterpark (uh....hello?.....when did fitness become not a priority at the Y??). With the small size of the pool, you are forever doing turns, its hard to get a rythm going, and it is super warm so it feels a little like. say. someone peed. Give me Olympic distance anyday - swimming at Rockport outdoor pool all summer spoiled me!

Tomorrow is the SWAT swim practice at Marshall Middle School Pool. Mike is going to lift with Lucas then go to swim practice. I have an appointment to get my hair cut, so I proablaby will just go along for the ride to swim practice and do some stroke heckling from shore, and do a little coaching for Mike.

Maddy the Smiling Dog

This is a pretty good picture of my youngest dog Maddy. When she greets you she pulls back her upper lip and smiles at you. Sometimes she will do it on command. When she's really excited to see you, she does the extreme version - a very intense smile, with a little simultaneous piddle.

just thought I would share - it totally cracks me up. Except when she also piddles, then not so much.

The Week in Review from Africa, Wisconsin

It's hot - Africa hot - in Southern Wisconsin this past few days. Now I know, all you hardcore folks that live in the land of zero-scaping are rolling your eyes at that, but it's truly no fun to workout outside. Really, its not so much the heat as the humidity I guess. Anyhoo, humidity cranks up the whine for sure.
We have spent much of the week in the pool. Mike is making good progress in the pool. I just hang around swimming laps. My run/bike has suffered a little because the swim is a different kind of cardio. Tuesday was SWAT group, and we got a nice big bike in there, but didn't do the run leg since it was getting really late. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday were all swim nights. Thursday, I had planned to do a brick but I ended up taking my Maddy dog in to the vet with a sore paw. It ended up she had broken off her toenail way down deep inside the paw and then had not come off all the way, creating a huge wound. She had a little minor surgery, got a gimongous bandage, some antibiotics, and pain meds and we were home again. That pretty much killed any big exercise plans - Maddy needed some TLC, so we just took a quick swim and came back home.
Friday, I got home from work and felt like taking a nap, but instead took off on a run sheerly out of guilt. Here are just a few of the things I learned:
1) Half a jar of dill pickles and some deli ham do not make a good pre-run snack.
2) a bag of red sports beans and gatorade don't go well on top of pickles and ham.
3) If you jiggle that mess up repeatedly, it makes you feel like barfing
4) if you haven't ran in almost a week, don't try to do one of your long routes.
5) Swimming needs to supplement your other cardio, or your other cardio suffers.
6) If it's really hot and humid out running sucks butt more than usual.

I did not barf. I did however run really slow. It was painful slow and I never really did find a groove. It has been a long time since I needed to bargain with myself to finish the run and Friday was one of those runs. Had to keep telling myself - you CAN get to the corner, just make it to the church, OK you can walk that hill but then you have to get going again, just finish the mile, just make it one more block, one more driveway, one more barking dog, and so on.
lesson learned: make more time for running, especially if you plan to run a 1/2 marathon in 6 weeks.

I am woman, hear me roar

Yesterday I took a quick bike ride to Afton and back and experienced a flat tire for the first time. After crossing over the bridge on Eau Clair road, I turned onto the shortcut to River Road. As I sunk down into my aerobars, I felt a weird shimmy in my bike and began checking things out. Looking down at my rear tire, I could see it was in the process of flatting out on me. Great. 10 miles out from home, all alone, is not a great place to have your first flat.
When I stopped to examine the tire, I saw that it was not completely flat and thought maybe I just had a leak that I could pump periodically on my way back home and have some help or at least change the tube on my back porch sipping a cold soda instead of hunkering down in the gravel on the side of the road. I reached for my hand pump to remember it was attached to my mt bike....... at home.
Plan B - I loaded a CO2 cartridge and zapped the tire to full, then took off down the road trying to beat the inevitable. I was about a mile out of town when I noticed it flatting again. I stopped and got off my bike, weighing my options. I had one CO2 cartridge left and a new tube. I was all set to take a stab at my first change. As I was loading up another cartridge in preparation, a truck pulled up and a raggedy looking guy got out and asked if I was OK and needed help. It gave me the creeps a little, so I decided to just use my last cartridge to give me a quick fix, with one hand on my tire and the other on my pepper spray, just in case. (The guy was probably harmless but just didn't realize how creepy it is to stop on a road and talk to a girl who is all alone- doesn't matter, I wasn't taking chances.) With a full tire again, I took off and changed my plan to pedal like hell and get as far into town as I could before flatting again. The last fill made it almost 5 miles, finally flatting at the intersection of Sunset and Mineral Point, about a mile from my house. I took off my road shoes and socks and pushed the old girl home, about a 10 minute walk.
Today we took the tire into the shop, and after deciding it was worn enough to warrant new tires, we bought 4 new racing tires (Continental Ultra Race). Then we went home and I got my wish - changing my first tire sitting on my back porch drinking a soda. By the way, it took me an hour and a half to change 2 tires and yeah it pretty much sucked.
After supper, Mike and I took the dogs for a walk. I have devil dogs from hell when it comes to walking on leash, so I was fully prepared to need a rotator cuff repair by the time we got home. I had a new solution to try - the Premeir Gentle Leader Walking Harness. To my complete and utter shock, I was walking a totally different dog. When she pulled, she stopped immediately as soon as it squeezed her chest. Aside from a few short stops that nearly tripped Mike, she was very close to heeling. Needless to say, this is a highly recommended product. I might even try running with her again now that I seem to possess the secret formula to success......

Memorial Day

OK, first things first - this is one of the baskets we bought at the Farmers Market yesterday. Is anyone able to identify what it is? I think I can only call it my big freaking basket (that is also edible!) for so long before I will have to actually know its name.

Today was a day off from training, but there was still lots to be done around the house. We were up early and working on our projects by midmorning after a trip last night to the Home Cheepo for supplies.

First on deck was to cut out and landscape around my arbor and fix the clematis plants that were struggling there. This spring before we put in the hot tub, we noticed that this years snow and cold had started heaving the arbor out of the ground. not long after that, strong wind took it completely out of the ground and onto her side on the ground. We replanted the arbor on the other side of the patio a few weeks ago, a little deeper, a little smarter, and hopefully a lot more permanent. Mike and i cut and cleared the grass around it today, planted some new clematis plants around the straggly ones that were there already , accented with a couple of hostas, added some bark and Voila! - a masterpiece!

Next up was cutting a spot for a new rock garden. In 2 weeks construction starts on the road next to our house, widening the road and adding curb and gutter and sidewalk. One of the casualties of this is my rock garden which came in really nice for the first time this year. it was also where I buried my dog Rascal a couple years ago, so needless to say I have really not been feeling much like moving things. There is also the small matter of the HUGE boulders that are it's centerpiece- Three biguns that needed a backhoe to place in the first place.

Mike and I and the boys cut a new rock garden under the trees in the backyard. Not sure what kind of trees they are, just that they get cool strands of flowers in the spring and they have thorns all over them that bite you if you aren't careful. We cut the border and Mike wrangled with the rototiller like a rodeo rider, then we all worked to shovel and level the bed. Once that was done, I dug Rascal's ashes and headstone out of the old rock garden and moved it to the new one. Mike stripped a layer of landscape rock out of the old bed and moved it to the new one too as a base for our dog memorial. We are going to wait to move the flowers until we have a time frame from the city on when they are going to help us move the boulders. I don't want to replant anything in the new bed that might get run over when the boulders are moved so I might transplant them to pots and replant them after the move, but if I do it too soon I will probably kill them anyhow - my black thumb of death is well-known in these parts. Picture one is the old rock garden taken last year. The 3 big boulders in the middle are yet to be moved as are the plants. Picture 2 is of Rascal's new digs and where the boulders and flowers will get moved to someday soon.

I then worked a couple other miscellaneous flower projects, mostly replacing the butterfly bushes in the front yard and a couple other miscellaneous perennials that fell victim to a bitter cold few winter months.

I replaced the butterfly bushes in the front corners with Chinese willows (they are very pretty and get pink tips on their leaves as they grow) and added some lavender, salvia, and some others to the other front beds.

I thought I would share a couple pictures of the yard projects, since several of you that visit have wondered if the green stuff in our pictures is really grass. This is what Wisconsin looks like folks!

Below you will find a picture of my two nutjob dogs, doing what they do best - acting stupid for treats. I predict one or both of them will be yelled at in the near future for messing up part of or all of today's projects very soon.

Product Review: The Furminator

I am sure I have mentioned in previous posts that we have two terrifically hairy Springer Spaniels. I am constantly on the lookout for ideas to cut down on the hair production, or at least keep the hairballs from building up around the house. Nevertheless, there is seldom a day where i don't pick a dog hair out of my mouth or eye or have to lint roll the dog hair off my pants before leaving for work. It's just one of the joys of having dogs I guess.
For the last several weeks, I have been eyeing a new brush at the pet store called The Furminator. They had it all set up with a snazzy display and a video showing how wonderful it is on a constant loop. I think I have watched the video dozens of times in the past few months and considered buying it several times. I have asked Steve the Lizard guy (I'm sure he has a last name, but he has been known as the Lizard guy ever since we started raising geckos) about a million questions. Mostly I ask if it really works, and he has always said yes. In my mind, though I am skeptical - I figured he just figures that anyone considering spending $40 for a dog brush in the first place musts not need much convincing.
Well, Friday night we stopped into our favorite pet store for dog food and crickets for the geckos, and as I passed the Furminator display, they are on sale. Against my better judgement, the urge for an impulse buy was uncontrollable - I bought one.
Friday night was beauty night for my girls. We brushed teeth and then we furminated the dogs. I raked through their coats as I usually do. The end result was a PILE of dog hair large enough to knit myself another dog. So, yes folks if you are foolish enough to spend the cost of dinner and a movie on a dog brush, you will not be sorry. And yes, it really does work.

Running the Trails

Last night, Mike and I took a long run on the Rock River bike trail since it was such a nice day out. We parked at the trail head and after a 1/4 mile warmup walk, we took off running. The trail is nice and flat, without much noticeable elevation changes, which was nice since we are so used to hill running around our house.
We ran 2.5 miles to the waste treatment plant at the other end of the trail by Afton. Knowing that I had to run back to the car and I had never run that distance before, I took a chicken-out break and walked 0.2 miles at the turnaround. Then we were off again. We ran back and continued on back to our car. All told, we had 5.5 miles of moving time, including the warmup walk and chicken break.
That was the biggest run I have done and surprisingly, it was also the quickest pace I had ever done. It was a great day, kind of cool but comfortable and it just boiled down to the right balance of desire and energy. I am pretty pleased with myself and am itching to do it again already.
Next time, I am bringing dog spray. I was shocked by the amount of people walking their dogs off leash. We first encountered a HUGE German Sheperd that was excited to see us coming up the road. There were several others along the way, all shapes and sizes, but were all unleashed and loosely supervised. One little dog took off and ran alongside us for quite a distance. I wasn't going to stop and lead him back, perhaps his owner learned a lesson about controlling his pet. I am neither afraid of dogs or dislike them, but I think it is terribly irresponsible to bring a dog out in the public arena and let them run loose. I have 2 dogs of my own, they are lovely friendly temperaments and I would guess would never intentionally hurt someone or scare them. I would never put that to the test because, despite their good temperaments, they are DOGS not humans. Someone running up on them or riding by on a bike could spook them or scare them and they could react defensively- I want that heavy leash on board so I have some hope of controlling the situation if I have to. I do not want to be the runner that scares a dog and makes it bite me after it's owner waves, smiles, and hollers "Its OK - he's friendly!"
While I'm at it, why can't people pick up their dog poop on the trail or at least lead them to the side of the path to do it? I dodged more piles along the centerline last night, I'm lucky I didnt end up doing the poo-poo slide!

A girl and her dog

Today, my 2 year old ESS pup Maddy and I went for a quick run after I got home from work. Daisy, my old girl was not happy to be left at home, but a) I know she won't misbehave, b) I cannot handle 2 dogs and run simultaneously, and c) she has a hard time doing much more than 2 miles - at 45 pounds she is far to heavy to carry home fireman-style.
So, I took off the Invisible Fence collar, slipped on her walk collar, and off we went. It had been raining all day so there were lots of puddles and mud for her to find along the way. She enjoyed every one of them. Trying to control Maddy on a leash is a little like stuffing toothpaste back in the tube - a total mess. She pulls, she lunges, she stops short, she zigs and zags all over the place. I was hopeful today that taking my life in my hands would at the least make me faster as she pulled me down the street. Remember the Marmaduke cartoons? That's kind of how the walks always go, only with a 45 pound ball of fire instead of a Great dane.
I ran my usual route backwards this time, just for a change of pace. It was interesting to say the least. There was absolutely no way to control my pace with Maddy along. She drug me along at breakneck speed, then we slowed way down as I tried to hold her back and regain control. And so it went over and over. The end result was a less than spectacular pace of 12+ minute miles overall. From a positive perspective, my arms are still firmly placed in thier sockets and we made it home without a major wipeout. We'll just call it a success and call it a day.

My Naughty Dog Is Dead Meat

my dog Maddy is such a shithead. I think I have finally come to grips with this simple fact.

She will be 2 this year and is the most destructive dog I have ever owned. Maddy has always been a chewer. When she was a puppy, she would shred toilet paper while I showered so it looked as if it were snowing by the time I was done. She once ate a stack of shipping boxes, creating a cardboard snowstorm. She has roughly 100 chew toys, tennis balls, rawhide bones, and a plethora of other toys to distract her from her mission in life - destroying anything of value in her path.

In the few years she has been alive she has been responsible for a massive amount of destruction. Her partners in crime are my 2 teenage sons who are often charged with watching her but pay very little attention to what she is doing when I'm not home. Last year, she chewed the corners off the new oak cabinets in my newly built house. That was the beginning of a long string of inappropriate chewy toys. Among other things, she has eaten the remote controls to all the TVs in the house, several video game controllers, lots of computer cable, at least 6 retainers. We resigned ourselves to lock her in a kennel whenever we were gone, which seemed to curb the problems. The day the boys went back to school this fall, they forgot to put her into her cage...... she proceeded to chew the cordless phone into a milion billion bits. Maddy is officially an electronics specialist- like everyone else in this house, she loves her gadgets. The only difference is we like to play with them, she however likes to EAT them! Lots of lectures ensued about responsibility and controlled containment strategies. Vows were given that it would never ever ever happen again - "promise."

Today, my hubby met me at the door and said "your kids aren't getting anything for Christmas." Then he hugged me. THe boys forgot to kennel her when they left for school today. Never one to pass up an opportunity to east soemthing of value, Maddy the Destroyer had eaten my Garmin 301, my most prized possession. She tried to eat my iPod too but only managed to mangle the charging cord and the cute pink leather case. She ate the buttons off the Garmin and munched on the screen so it is totally black. Because the buttons are chewed off, I can't get it to power off and quit beeping. With every sickly beep I would like to wring her stupid neck with the Garmin strap. Lucky for her, she ate the strap too.