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Monday, September 24, 2007

Gear Slut for Rent

Sunday was our second running of the Zoo Run Run at Henry Vilas Zoo in Madison. We close the 10K this year and it took us the same route as the Nurses Day 10K we did in May. Nothing too exciting to report as the time was almost exactly the same as when I ran it in the spring. It felt really comfortable and felt like I was really quick but the numbers don't show it.
Overall, it was a fun morning. I love to go to the zoo and watch Mike talk to all the animals like he is Dr. Dolittle. It does also bear mentioning that the run was commemorating our 18th Wedding anniversary. Mike and I have done a lot of growing up together over these years and it really is cool to celebrate yet another year of marriage to my best friend. We met up with Anne Thatcher who I believe took first in her age group, and Captain Morgan who we went to breakfast with after the run. Stopped at Perkins for a little bite and stuffed myself with potato pancakes - yummy.
Made the rounds of our usual Madison area pit stops- first to Fleet Feet to pet their expensive running clothes (they had a Nike thermal jacket that I drooled over for a few minutes) and then on to Endurance House. We asked the salesgirl about wetsuits and I decided I wanted to try one on to see how they fit and get an idea.
What a funny scene it is to put on those wetsuits! It was like putting on a SUPER thick full body pair of pantyhose that were 2 sizes too small. They were hot and hard to get pulled up, the more you tried to tug on them the sweatier you got which made them stick to you even more........ I swear a videotape of the effort would be a hoot on youtube! As I wrestled with that rubber suit I was going through the pros and cons in my head :
+ they were on sale 20% off because it was end of season
+ the NINETEEN suit was really nice for the price (compared with the Zoots, 2XUs, etc for the same grade of suit)
- they were still expensive
- there is really nowhere to wear them until next spring/summer
+ we need them anyhow if we are going to be adding in longer races, so it must have equipment for our next tri season
+ I look like a superhero in my suit once I get it on
- $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
+ did I mention that I look like a Power Ranger? Oh yeah, maybe I already said that
+ they were the last 2 suits in our sizes in that brand
+ Uh, pink wetsuit..... like I could pass on that........ (this was the same wetsuit I drooled over earlier in the summer)
There was also the funny conversation between Mike and the salesgirl. It went like this:
Mike: (looking at the size chart hanging from the ladies wetsuit) What is the difference on the size chart between L and WL?
Salesgirl: (with a perfectly straight face) the WL have these breasts (pointing to them on the wetsuit).

So long story short, we are the proud owners of 2 spanking brand new s'wetsuits. I have some extra money coming in in the next few weeks, so we will just count that as our anniversary present to each other this year, and probably birthdays too.....

I really need some sort of endorsement deal to help defray the costs of our new hobby. How does a slow, fat triathlete go about getting a sponsorship deal anyhow? I'm thinking about sending out some sort of mass email to the major makers of triathlon related items. It might go something like this......


Dear (insert vendor name here),
I would like to offer you my services in marketing your (insert triathlon product name here). I am a tri-gear addict with no hope of recovery and I am easily influenced by the effect of new products or gear as the answer to my triathloning dreams. I am willing to use your (insert item name here) in my training and during triathlons and/or other races with the provision that you provide me your ridiculously high priced (insert item name here) for my own personal use as a sample. In exchange, I will use your item, tell everyone I know how wonderful it is and how they could not possibly live without one of their own, and I will feature your products regularly on my highly trafficked blog.
In addition to providing me with free state of the art equipment and nutrition, I would also expect contributions of large amounts cash to defray my cost of entering future events where I could speak to massive quantities of people about your product and how it is the answer to everything from taming split ends to curing cancer and everything in between.
You may note from reviewing my race results that my performance really couldn't get much farther back in the pack, so any and all future successes - real or imagined - could be shamelessly attributed solely to the use of your (insert product name here). I may not be the fastest racer out there, but I can definitely hold my own in the "let's talk about anything and everything" arena. Imagine the possibilities!

Sincerely,
Jennifer Wimmer

President and Charter member of the
Gear Sluts Do the Midwest Club


Do ya think that would work?

14 comments:

The Scott Family said...

Have Nike been in touch yet? :)

Great idea. I reckon you should go for it for real ... your honesty (and humor) might get you something! :)

Mike

Bigun said...

you had to get wetsuits sometime, so now when they are on sale...the timing is perfect!

I hope Mike didn't get a WL...

Never second-guess money spent on fitness...it's a rule...

regina said...

I love the "Gear Sluts Do the Midwest Club" Can I join?? That would be an awesome letter, you should so totally send that out.

bigmike600 said...

I have some gear for you to try on. I wish my wetsuit had a man boob pocket. Might be easier to get on. I think I'll be using the non stick cooking spray method next time.
Being married to you has been awesome. Ever since I was that 13 year old kid trying to get you go to out with me, I knew you were the one.

Jeff said...

I am sitting here dying reading your letter. Somebody just walked by my office and asked what was so funny!

I totally think you should send that out. What can they say? At least maybe you'll get some fancy stationery letters back. The back of the pack part is a really selling point!

Crack me up!

Steve S. said...

Good luck with that letter - you should TOTALLY write it!

It always comes down to $$$ for us thrifty mid-westerners, doesn't it?

Erin said...

Hilarious letter! And you'll love the Nineteen wetsuit. I couldn't pass up the pink either!

J-Wim said...

I will admit it - I could sometimes pinch a quarter til the eagle screams ...

bigmike600 said...

You are not fat..you are phat. There is a difference you know.

Pat said...

and as a faithful reader, I'd buy anything you said was great.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

Oh yeah. I mean, dude - so many reasons to buy the wetsuit and so few not to! you HAD to do it - the judge would understand.

Your letter is killing me. So honest...

Pokey said...

Love the Power Ranger look!

Your letter is FABULOUS! :)

Pat said...

After next week everyone gets to pick up one more player. If you go below two, you get to take a player that no one has, if there are any. Right now there are two free players.

If you are short a player, you have to play short handed.

You can trade with anyone. Both of you have to email me on the trade. A possible trade would be for a big loser for someone that you feel would last longer.

J-wim and Ken are both short one player. That's how the game works.

trades cannot be made if it gives you 3 of one sex.


J-wim I'll propose a trade. I'll give you Amy for Isabeau. Both have lost 18 pounds so far. Let me know if you'd like to make this trade.

Di aka "Mrs Bigun" said...

Great job on the wetsuit purchases!
Everyone is in agreement. You have nothing to lose by sending your letter to the "Gear Companies" Why not?
They don't know you and if you never hear back, or they say "No" what have you lost?
do it. do it. do it.


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