Craig's List Mysteries

What is it about Craig's List that sucks me in?

I check it a couple times a day just to see what kind of treasures I might want to buy, or for things I see for sale that might spark a memory and cause me to sell something of my own.

Frankly there is some weird stuff out there and some even stranger people selling/buying things.

*Last night, I read a posting last night. For sale was a collection of 15 headless Barbies for $10, including a picture. Um, WTF is that about? Maybe little Jimmy who hates his sister will buy it and wrap it up as a creepy little Christmas present??

*Then there was the ad for the guy who had a snowblower to give away. I can't find the ad right now but went something like this. "Snowblower to give away, tonight only. It is a giant hunk of crap and I went to blow out my driveway tonight and it doesn't work. You can pick it up from my garage at (dude's address). Knock loud since I'll be in the basement drinking. Or better yet, pick up a 6 pack and join me." That one made me laugh.

*Then there are the posts pleading for help that sound like totally fake. "I need a car but can't afford one. Can I buy yours on a payment plan?" Or the ad pleading for help for a needy family..." know a guy who lost his job and he can't provide his family with a Christmas. send me gift cards or cash and I will be sure to get them to his family." You know, I am a big proponent for charity, but come on people, do I have SUCKER written on my forehead? I donate to REPUTABLE charities, not some kind of bogus scam secret charity, thank you.

*Why do 90% of the people who post ads have ZERO ability to spell? On any given night I can see ads for "Shrits," "sirts", or my personal favorite "shits." Yes thanks, I would love to buy your used shits, thanks for asking! Some of the typos are pretty comical.

*the people who answer ads are pretty interesting too. We just a sold a bunch of stuff from our basement in the past month and some of the folks were pretty strange. There were those that acted all hot to take your item, would make arrangements to come get it then never show. Then there were the really scary folks who showed up and you had to wonder about their mental stability..... can I get them out of the house fast enough??

Well anyway I have to go. I'm sure there are some new ads posted I have to check out.....

The Marble Theorem in Action

My friend has a theory about raising boys to be men. According to her hypothesis, all the marbles fall out each boy's head at puberty which is then filled with testosterone and at some time in the late teens/early twenties, at least some of the marbles are returned to that empty head, pushing out some of that testosterone and returning some common sense to their thought processes. In the meantime, a parent can only cross their fingers and pray that no one is hurt in the interim by the absence of brain cells.

Until this afternoon, it seemed as if we might be growing nearer to that moment. And then I came home from work.

As I turned the corner to reach my driveway, I see Nick walking out to the car Lucas drives with a BIG jar of bungee cords. Um, yeah, I can hardly wait to hear this one.

me: what are you doing?
Nick: the car won't start. We are going to push it into the garage to sit and warm up.
me: and the bungees are for.........?
Nick: I was going to rig something up to the steering wheel so no one has to sit in the drivers seat while we push. (Apparently, my son has aspirations to become the next McGyver...)
me: ................. uh, I don't think that's a good plan............
Nick: (shocked look) Really?
me: What was your plan if you needed to correct the steering? Or if you need to stop? Or if it starts to roll backwards as you are pushing it with the door shut and it's going to roll over one of you?
Nick: ......... uh yeah, Didn't think of that.

Plan B is formulated. I will sit in the car and steer/brake, the boys will push.

me: OK where are the keys?
Beefy: We can't use them cuz the car won't start.
me: ....?????...... How did you intend to take the car out of park to push it in the first place??
Beefy: Yeah, I'll go get the keys.

I put the keys in the ignition, the car turns right over and I drive it into the garage. The smell of gasoline is everywhere.

Beefy: How did you start it?? I tried for like a half hour and got nothing!
me: If you touch the accelerator, you flood the engine. If you leave it alone a bit, it fixes itself. The engine was just flooded, it's not magic.

I just have to wonder about what fiasco might have transpired had I not pulled up in time to avert it. I envision a drivers seat wrapped in bungee cords flipped upside down in the ditch across the street lying on top of my children. Or maybe seeking treatment in the ED for musculoskeletal injury from pushing and pushing and pushing a car that is geared firmly in Park. Wow.

IMAZ Bloggy Peeps

Good luck to all out bloggieland friends doing IMAZ Sunday.

Keep an eye out for our tri-team friend Jen Brady. She will be out there kicking some serious bike ass wearing #2278. If ya see her give her a WOOHOO from the Wimmers!

39 Cents of Fun

Today Mike and I got a little bit of Christmas shopping underway.

As we walked past the Halloween Clearance rack at Shopko, Mike decided that he absolutely MUST purchase the stick-on beard and mustache that was hanging from the display, marked down from $4 to 39 cents.... because, you know, he "could totally find a bunch of ways to use it." I was not sold on the idea because, um, really, how many opportunities can there possibly BE to wear a fake porn star mustache?? Halloween is over and I don't know of any upcoming Ron Jeremy look-alike contests, so I am out of opportunities...... but whatever, it was $0.39.
At the checkout, Mike places his treasure on the conveyor belt with actual items we intended to purchase and pushes the cart over by the door to rack it.
While he's gone, the 17-ish girl who checked us out whispers to me "Is he really going to wear that, like everywhere??" I whispered back, "He's done worse." She shook her head and muttered, "Man I feel sorry for you."
And I nearly peed a little laughing.



So now you know a little bit more about my life with Mikey and why my basement looks like Walmart.

My B-Fit B-Day Challenge Report: The Big 3-9

Alternatively Entitled: If only little things like “Work” and “Sleep” could be taken off the table, this thing would be a piece of (birthday) cake!

For most of the things I have undertaken in recent years, I have committed myself to completing something without putting forth a lot of thought about how to complete it. My philosophy has been to give myself a goal and figure out along the way how to live up to it. The B-Fit B-Day Challenge was no exception. After reading through that first email from Roman, I immediately thought “Absolutely- Sign Me Up!” and I did. That was months ago.

Thinking through a little bit later, I emailed him and asked if I could do it early, with the intent of completing the challenge in like July or August while the days were still long, the temps were still warm, and I was training for 2 half-iron distances anyway. He said sure, but I still managed to procrastinate it until October, the month of my real 39th birthday on October 25th.
As the big day approached, I started thinking more intently about how and when I could get it slipped in with minimal disruptions to my work and home life, not sure if I would really get it done. Early in October, my son’s football team was finishing up their season, necessitating a lot of energy focused that direction. Later in the month, I had a week-long seminar to attend a long daily commute away. And the wintertime-is-upon-us blues were settling in, with windy, cold, rainy weather and shorter daylight. The bike and the run could be diced up into manageable chunks I thought after some careful consideration, but the swim was the monkey wrench in the equation. With the onset of cooler temps, the outdoor pool has been closed for several weeks and the indoor pool hours through the city are very limited, with just 2 hours available in the evenings Monday through Thursday. To me that meant that in order to meet the 24-hour timeframe for the Gold Challenge I wanted to do, I either had to figure out a way to do the swim on an evening the pool was open and then finish what I could that evening and the following day, or start the bike/run portion the night before a pool day and finish up the challenge with a swim.

My birthday came and went this past weekend, and I was in a funk. I wanted to do the challenge, but just couldn’t get motivated enough to start it off. Then the email came from Roman again, with a last call for B-Fit race reports. “There is just 4 days left to submit,” he wrote. That was the kick in the pants I needed so I started that evening.




The Report

(I forgot to take the obligatory picture of myself at the pool looking down the lane and putting on my goggles. This one will have to do ..... just go with it)


Run Leg #1:
Monday, I got home from work and quickly changed into my run clothes. I thought I might be a little insane because as I drove home there were flurries of light snow all around me, the first snowflakes of the season, and it was windy as hell outside. I dressed in my warmer gear, found some mitties and I was out the door. Those of you that know me, probably know that I am slower than snot on the run. It is my least favorite of the tri legs, and therefore I don’t spend as much time at it as I should a lot of the time. I ran my cold slow little run until it was starting to get dark outside, then I headed for home.
Run Leg #1: 5.42 miles in 1:18. (Don’t calculate my pace, just trust me that it was turtle speed)

Bike Leg #1:
Once home from the run, I got my buns warmed up, dumped the data from my Garmin into training center and changed into some bike clothes. It was dark outside, which took biking outdoors off the table, and to be honest with y’all I am not much of a snow/cold weather cyclist. One of the things I got for myself for my birthday was a cadence sensor for my Garmin Forerunner and I thought that I could test it out with this ride on a trainer and get my miles on for the Challenge at the same time.
Although there is nothing too exciting to report about a trainer ride, I forgot how nice it is to be able to hop off the bike and switch the laundry or watch TV while still getting miles in the saddle. (BTW: Cadence sensor review: It seems very accurate and was extremely easy to use. Highly recommended so far!)
Bike Leg #1: 23 miles at 1:38

Bike Leg #2:
After a quick night’s sleep, I was up bright and early to get some more bike time in before work. Watched the morning news and warmed up the Trakstand’s bearings for as long as I could until it was time to shower up and go to work.
Anyone who knows me well knows what a colossal achievement it was to get my crack out of the sack at 5:30. I am NOT a morning person, so this was a supreme sacrifice for the cause!
Bike Leg #2: 7.01 miles in :33

Run Leg #2:
After a late meeting that ran over, I hurried home to get the remainder of the run done. Thankfully it was marginally warmer than yesterday and no longer snowing, but still a bit windy. The legs were a touch sore from the previous day and morning bikes/run, so I was not speedy again today. Forward motion is still forward so I just took it easy and slogged out the last 3 1/2 miles.
Run #2: 3.6 miles in 51.32


Bike Leg #3:
What can I say about another trainer ride?
Bike #3: 9.01 miles in 35.38

The Swim:
The plan was to arrive at 6pm sharp when the pool opened and get in as many yards as I could in the 2 hour timeframe or 3 swim miles, whichever came first. Wasn't sure I could do it all in the allotted time, but gave it a shot.
There isn't much to say about lap swimming except I went back and forth lots of times. I watched the waterwalkers in the next lane (I nicknamed them the Solid Gold Dancers because they did all their walking on tippy-toes in the swimsuits with skirts). I chatted a few minutes with Alison, and a few other folks I knew there. Mostly I did lap after lap. Had a few problems with foot and calf cramps that responded well to switching to pull buoys when I had problems and it all just worked itself out.
Swim: 3 miles in 1:41


FINAL TIMES: 6:36 Total Time
3 Mile Swim: 1:41
39.01 mile bike: 1:38 + :33 + -:35 = 2:46
9.02 mile Run: 1:18 + :51 = 2:09

Closing Thoughts:
This little exercise in triathlonism, was for me a vivid reminder that I need to find a way to achieve my goals and live my vision by whatever means possible. I had envisioned doing this in one warm, sunny, single monumental day. In reality, it became a goal that I chipped away at a little bit at a time, working around my need to work and collect a paycheck and a need to sleep at night, little by little in manageable chunks, until I had it done. It was an illustration of how I need to fit triathlon and health into my life by whatever means I can and just make it work and be creative in fitting it in.
Four years ago, I weighed in at over 300 pounds and would never imagine myself displaying this amount of tenacity in reaching a fitness goal. What a long, strange trip it has been so far….. and thanks for coming along on the journey!

Many thanks to Roman for dreaming this up and making it a reality. And thanks to all of you for keeping it evolving and growing, and for motivating me to make myself better by sharing your own experiences and goals.
January 1st is all of our “Triathlon Birthdays” as we call it in my house. This is the day when many of us have to report ourselves when we register for events as the age we will be at the end of that calendar year. It will be my 40th triathlon birthday, anyone interested in completing a “Triathlon Bday” challenge in January?

My Whiny Week in Review

The disruption of the week has been that I spent the week in Union Grove attending a certification course for advanced wound care. I learned a lot this week, some of it even pertained to wounds....

1) I could never, ever, ever work somewhere where I had to commute.
Many of you know that my usual commute to work is 1.75 miles. Sometimes I drive, sometimes I take my scooter, and sometimes (when there is not a lot of school traffic) I walk. This week I commuted 127 miles round trip every day. There are a million windy twisty, rural roads, which totally suck to navigate. And the Interstate is not much better.
And then there is all the dead air on the radio stations. The rate a radio station gets reception is inversely proportionate to the degree to which I am enjoying it. We'll just call that Wimmer's Law.
Is it wrong that I entertained myself by evaluating all roads and crossroads by how fun (or not fun) they would be to bike on? Come to think of it, maybe if I had biked to the class, I would have enjoyed the ride a little more.

2) Every road in Eastern Wisconsin is apparently always under construction. ALWAYS.
I went to the same place every day. I was not ever able to take the same route twice and often my way home was different than the way I got there in the morning. Off ramps and on ramps were closed with no notice from day to day. Traffic was re-routed due to construction, accidents, tree removal services, changing light bulbs in the traffic lights, ..... you name it and a road block was thrown in my way. I have never in my life been re-routed so many ways and forced to punt on directions.

3) The GPS unit is possessed by something that seriously wants to mess with my tiny head.
I was endlessly given directions that I KNEW were not the fastest or best way to go, and sometimes roads did not show up on the map, or it tried to take me the wrong way down one way streets, mostly in the Burlington area. And let me tell you that the little guy who tells you what to do has a bad case of Tiny Man Syndrome. He is BOSSY and gets really really pissed if you don't do what he tells to.

4) My family gets WAY to much pleasure from me getting a ticket.
Thursday morning, Exit 29 on I-43 was closed for construction. I read the sign the day before and planned to get off at Exit 28...... which was closed too and didn't know it. So I got off at the next exit after 29, which routed me all over the frickin place. I would through tiny town after tiny town and wound all over the place. As I pulled into the tiny town of Honey Creek (Population 50) I thought "what a quaint little town......where the hell am I? And how am I going to get back to where I need to go?"
as I pondered it, looking all over the place for signage, driving 55 mph, I noticed that the speed limit dropped to 25. I never saw a warning it would happen. As I lifted my foot from the accelerator, I saw barney Fife sitting in his squad running radar. I held my breath and as I passed by, the lights started to spin. I still had no idea where I was.
He swaggered up the car window, looking every bit like Jackie Gleason in Smokey and the Bandit, complete with the little mustache (no lie!). He asked where I was headed, which cascaded into a blubbery meltdown about how I was lost, frustrated, and just basically trying to get the hell out of Honey Creek and to where I was actually headed and was now going to be late getting to. He asked if I had ever had a speeding ticket before, and I told him truthfully I had not.
As he walked back to his squad car, I was crossing my fingers that he felt bad for the lost, crying lady, with a 25 year clean driving record.
Before long he came back. He handed me a ticket for going 43 in a 25 zone, gave me some la-ti-dah speech about protecting school kids, and said he did me the "favor" of ticketing me for 43 since he had clocked me at 44 first and it was apparent to him I was in the process of slowing down (Um, thanks. Makes no difference in my ticket, points, or insurance, but um, yeah.)
Then he gave me directions to get to Union grove. I was about 3 minutes away. Rats.
Needless to say, I have taken a fair amount of crap from Mike and the boys. Bastards.

5) The content may change, but every class/seminar is basically the same.
There are basically the same few people in every class ever.
There is the lady who asks the same dumb questions all day long. I know they say there are no stupid questions, but trust me there definitely are dumb ones. And it makes you look stupid for asking.
There is the lady that has an example to share about "what our facility does" in every situation. The story is never short, barely on topic, and just ties up my time.
There is the person who always says "YES!" when the teacher asks if we need to take a break, even if w just took one like 20 minutes ago. Really? I think we should be ok without one....
There is the person who talks to the presenter at every break using every big word she knows on the topic and inserts her opinion on everything throughout the presentation. She.Knows.Everything. which makes me wonder - if you know freaking everything and want to argue with the presenter about the content because you are always right, why did you take the class? If you know it all, you should just take the test for $75 and save your employer $4925 for the certification course! But then you would not get to show off how smart you are. (She actually asked one day "So are You lying or is the workbook lying because the workbook says ___ and you just said ___.." I think my jaw hit the floor.)
And then there is the person who just sits back and stays uninvolved, and wants to get through the day as quickly as possible, doesn't make a lot of conversation and gets annoyed more easily every minute she has to hang with all the others. That would be me. Miss anti-Social.

6) I could not do something where I had to do the same thing over and over again.
If I had to deal with all those people in every class day after day after day, I think I might poke some eyes out with a sharp #2 test pencil. Seriously. Give me a good old week on the nursing unit with something different to do every day, makes me much happier. And sane.

7) The more I have to sit still, the crankier I get.
By lunch time, I could not stand to be still anymore. Most of the days I was able to walk around the grounds for 45 minutes or so, which helped a bit, but it was jut not enough to totally take the edge off. By the time I got home I was a royal witch.
It was kind of a strange place to walk around since it was also the grounds for one of the state prisons, so I was walking around lovely brick buildings with little gardens, all surrounded by high fences topped with coiled barbed wire. Kinda creepy.

*****************************************************************************

Anyhow, the week is done and I am glad. I took my certification test today and in 4-6 weeks I fully expect to be able to add WCC to my credentials ("Wound Care Certified"). And the best part is I don't have to go to the recert class again for 5 YEARS!!!
Now I will just have to pay my ticket to Racine County as a reminder of all the fun I had there.

(I forgot to mention this but during all the fun of looking at grody pictures and learning all about sterile maggot therapy and other biosurgical interventions, I also managed to break off one of my teeth. It's a molar and it's not painful but I have managed to rub my tongue on it enough times to make the tongue bleed. Best part? I can't get into the dentist until Monday because I was too far away to get to the office before it closed ........ That's just choice.)

19 Things I Like About You

1- You buy me Monsters. By the case.

2- You love to shop as much as I do. Except when we are bra and underpants shopping with your mom, then you get a TEENSY WEENSY bit impatient with the process.

3- You get genuinely excited about helping/watching/teaching your kids.

4- You are brimming with enthusiasm most of the time, almost to the point of driving me crazy sometimes..... (See #1)

5- you make me laugh. There are at least 2 weddings where you had me laughing so hard I couldn't get control of myself, including the one where the pastor looked like Mr Magoo. I think I snorted out loud. Several times.

6- You clean things. At least you clean things more often than I do.

7- You are a good cook, which is good since I am so not.

8- you know how to have fun, and how to get me involved since I sometimes don't.

9- Tech support. It's good to have an IT guy around, even if you give the heavy sigh when I am not doing things fast enough.

10- you dream big. And expensive.

11- You invent cool new phrases like "Git R Dun."

12- You understand my shoe fetish. A girl can never have enough.

13- You made an actual training plan. Not that you follow it mind you but you finally HAVE one.

14- You put up with explaining everything in football to me over and over again. And you always help me keep track of Lucas on the field.

15- Did I mention you buy me Monsters?? Big cans??

16- You put up with my grouchy mornings and crabbiness, without really pointing out what a rag I am being.

17- You are a great dad. and uncle.

18- You have great taste in women.

19- You are good to your mother and your family.

Love you MDot-i-mus. Here's to celebrating next year's anniversary toeing the line at IMMoo!

As if anyone cares....

J Lo completed her "grueling" Malibu Sprint Triathlon, ranking a solid last place in her division, and ranking near the end of the comparable age group rankings.

Results are HERE

I am feeling smugly superior now.

Feeling fat, and not with a PH

Iron weekend has come and gone. For the week before IMWI and the week following IMWI, I have done pretty much nothing. i think I got in 1 swim and a one hour-ish run, then pretty much nothing too taxing. Plus, I have been on the see-food diet for the past week while I was off work to use some vacation days up. I think I ate one of everything, sometimes two.

Now we are sitting on the sofa, kicking back as it has rained for like 3 solid days, and trying to work on a training plan for the next 52 weeks.

I am also working on a plan to lose the last 25 pounds AGAIN that I have let creep back on in the past year. I am feeling FAT but not in a good way. Capital F as in "F'ing Fat"...... fat with an F, not PHAT.

Tried the Wii Fit this week. Man is that fun! But my abs hurt from the balance activities so bad the next day that it hurt to breathe, let alone move. I obviously need a little more core work than I've been getting lately.

Insanity Check

Pulled the trigger after this inspirational weekend...........

We waited in the rain outside Monona Terrace to register for IMMoo 2009. I literally jumped up and down once I had the completed paper in my hand.

Someone needs to remind me of that moment as I toe the line on September 13, 2009 please.

Now I have 52 weeks to get ready, lose that last 25 pounds again, and wonder WTF I was thinking when I signed up and how I probably had no business thinking it was within reach.

But I'm gonna do it anyway. Someone has to come in last and it may as well be me.

Triathlon Christmas

Well, in my world it feels like Christmas......... It's IMMoo time again.
Going to this race last year was hands down one of the most fun and motivational days of my life. I felt like I swam, biked, and ran every mile right along with everyone we knew....... How are they doing on the swim? Look there's Bolder, there's Roman, everyone is out of the water........ then it was off to Cross Plains to watch for bikers.....Oh good there's Kitty, where is everyone, I hope they're all OK....... Oh look TriDummy's coming in for the finish....And Roman......and Darin..... By the end of the day, my fingers were raw and bloody from ringing my cowbell, I was sunburned, and hot, and elated, and worried, and tired, and excited, andeverything else all at the same time. I tell ya, it was exhausting! If I had $500 in my pocket that day, I would have probably signed right up for 08, I had the fever that bad.


Once again, I am glued to the pre-race coverage, checking the website, jotting down bib numbers, and looking forward to getting caught up in IM fever at Monona Terrace.


And this year, I know in advance where the fever is going to land me........ and that's right at the front of the line to race it myself in 2009.


And then I will spend the next 52 weeks wondering why in the hell I thought I had any business signing up.
--------------------------------------------------------
Tonight we started making up some signs to hold up on the course. Here's my favorite - a special request from the woman herself:Good luck to everyone this weekend! If you see any of our SWATtie buddies out there give them a hoot and a holler!


Darin Rutherford -#1048
Alison Viemeister - #2282
Kitty Cole- #2439
Mike Wolfgram - #146
Jeff Hahn - #1715
CJ Hartman - #2431
Brian Morgan - #1771
Johnny Brown - #697
Jimmy Brown - #1118
Ric Meister - #1332


It has been a pleasure to know and train with them all and NO ONE WILL BE YELLING OR RINGING A BELL FOR THEM LOUDER THAN US!


And the award for the most interesting name I came across on the list is David Klumpp #1234 which is coincidentally the same name as my uncle David who lives in Washington. It's not my uncle who's racing, but I just gotta check this guy out and cheer for him anyhow!


Who did I miss? We need bib numbers for our creepy internet friends too, so feel free to leave your bib number for us!

SWATquathon Run from Edison

Ran with Mike, Jen Brady, and Tom Peterson (after SWAT swim with Alison, Kitty, Brian, Tara, and Kayla. ) Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 835 ft Location: Rock, WI Elev. Gain: +0 ft Date: 08/26/08 Up/Downhill: [+75/-75] Time: 07:02 PM Difficulty: 2.2 / 5.0 Weather: Clear 77 F temp; 41% humidity 77 F heat index; winds E 13 Performance Distance: 3.01 miles Time: 0:40:04 Speed: 4.5 mph Pace: 13' 19 /mi Heart Rate: 162 bpm (Avg) Calories: 333 176 bpm (Peak) Map Elevation (ft) Pace (min/mile) Heart Rate (bpm) Heart Rate Zones Zone Range (bpm) Time In Zone Distance In Zone Zone 5 167 - 185 0h 23m 59% 1.77 mi Zone 4 148 - 167 0h 12m 31% 0.91 mi Zone 3 130 - 148 0h 04m 10% 0.36 mi Zone 2 111 - 130 0h 00m 1% 0.04 mi Zone 1 93 - 111 0h 00m 0% 0.03 mi (none) out of range 0h 00m 0% 0.03 mi Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Heart Rate Elev Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 12' 33 -0' 46 4.8 +0.3 148 -14 ft 2 13' 36 +0' 17 4.4 -0.1 167 +13 ft 3 13' 40 +0' 21 4.4 -0.1 170 +3 ft end 15' 00 +1' 41 4.0 -0.5 174 -3 ft Versus average of 13' 19 min/mile

Posted from bimactive.com

Technical Difficulty - please help

OK here is the deal.
I love to upload my Garmin stuff to bimactive.com.
I figured out how to do the zip file thing, which was no small feat for me.
Now it won't accept my uploads because the zipped file size is too big.
I emailed tech support a copy of my file per their request to find the problem and send a solution. Here is the answer I got:

Hi Jenny,
The uncompressed file is too large for our servers to handle. Please split your activities into two
files and zip those and upload. Let me know how it goes.
Cheers,
jon

I emailed back asking exactly how I would do that and threw myself on their mercy to help the technically inept. Here was the response:

The way I would do this is using the Training Center software, select a date range to export that is half what
you initially created and then do the other half into a new file name. Zip both of these files you have exported
separately and try uploading them.
-jon

Yeah. I still have not a clue, can't figure it out. Anyone have any thoughts or care to laugh at my attempts?

Reflections on the Big Pig Gig - Pigman 70.3

Saturday morning Mike and I headed to BFE Iowa (formerly known as Cedar Rapids) to get all signed in for the Pigman Long Course Triathlon (70.3). After taking the pups to Bonnie's, my new pet sitter - who was awesome BTW- we were off. I could not imagine a more boring drive...... For what seemed like days we wandered along Hwy 11 towards Dubuque through 3 million little towns with a combined total population of 12.

When we finally crossed the Mississippi River and got into Dubuque, I waited patiently for the scenery to change, we were in Iowa after all. Somewhere along the line, I got it stuck on my head that Iowa was flat and we were headed for downtown Pancake to race there. Illinois is pretty flat, so is Indiana, and Nebraska and a whole shitload of other states in the general Midwest area......

W.T.F. ?? I thought to myself as the terrain seemed to get hillier and hillier. Where are my flats?? You must be kidding! I watched that last couple hours to Cedar Rapids in utter amazement.

We finally arrived at the Marriot for the "expo" which was actually a place where you got your packet and shirt, and Gear West had 1 table and a rack of tri clothes to check out. Not exactly what I was expecting.

We got checked in and talked to Tri-Dummy who was still a ways away driving in with the whole family. We decided to check out the water at the lake and then drive the bike course. The water was nice. The bike course not so much. Rough roads, heavy traffic, gravel everywhre, a temporary bridge through road construction, you name it it was out there. The kicker for me was the roads. Anything paved is a highway with no shoulder, any other less traveled farm roads are gravel - no shit. Iowan bikers have gotta be hard core. I was nervous about the bike now, not so much of the hills but the traffic.

We went to supper with Blogland Superstar Tri-Dummy and his lovely wife Aimee and their kids. It was a great time, with great food. What fun! and the kids - very funny and so well behaved! It was awesome. (I do have pictures, but was asked not to post them. It DID really happen).

Back at the hotel we got ourselves together for race day. The Marriott nickel and dimes you for EVERYTHING, and provides not much - no fridge, no microwave, no WiFi (without depositing an arm and a leg onto your bill.). The alarm clock? Holy crap, it was so complicated we never did get it figured out and it never went off in the morning. Watched the marathon on the Olympics and went to bed.

Race day was there before you know it. My eyeballs pooped open at 4:40 and we got our cracks out of the sack, got checked out, and we were off to the park.

Got set up in transition quickly and found out that we were wetsuit legal for the day - SWEET. Mike and I were in the same wave which really was ideal. We got our wetsuits on and headed to the beach, hopping in to get acclimated to the water temp. We took a few strokes out and I said to Mike that we were just sitting there, where we couldn't touch, and he was NOT sinking, just floating, hoping that was the reminder that would help him calm down.

The Swim:

We were in the first wave after the elites with a single file time trial start into the water. I swam steady just ahead or next to Mike, then I got ahead a little bit and kept an eye back for him for a while longer. wasn't long til we rounded the buoy and were on the second leg of the triangle. I got caught up for a while in a pack of swimmers, then moved to the outside a little for some breathing room. I saw a big yellow buoy to my right and mistakenly thought it was the corner, swimming over to it and realizing too late that it was the halfway marker. I took a quick punch in the jaw from the swimmer I cut off to get to the fake turn buoy and kept it going. Finally reached the beach and tried to remember to take off my cap and goggles first thing so I wouldn't look as dorky in my pictures this time (you know, the important stuff....).

Up the beach to transition, I was changing and heard Mike behind me saying "I am SO proud of myself..... I just swam a mile and a quarter....I did it...." and I smiled to myself at that. How cool.

The Bike:

I took off on the bike and out of the park. I got a couple miles and realized not only was this a hillier bike than anticipated, it was also WINDY! awesome.

Mike passed me about mile 8, and about mile 20, TriDummy trucked on by me. There were several railroad tracks (a/k/a bottle launchers judging by the carnage on the other side of the tracks), rumble strips in the road, and the metal grate construction bridge was especially interesting. Everything on this course was up or down, no flats and I do think that there was way more ups than downs, although I know logically that is not possible.

There were plenty of bottle drops and the volunteers were great. I saw nothing but beverages on the bike course - would have been nice to have a banana or something but whatever.

The traffic? every bit as bad as I feared. Lots of near misses and scariness. About 8 miles from the end, there were 2 cars coming towards me from the other direction and a lady coming up behind me. Instead of waiting, she tried to swerve out around me and nearly had a head-on collision right in front of me, close enough that I was looking all over frantically looking for somewhere to bail out to. The last stretch into the park was up a long steeper hill. It was long, and getting hot, and I felt like I had a saddle sore the size of Texas. About a mile from transition, the girl on the bike in front of me starter to weave, slow down, and then just fell over in a daze. There was an ambulance right there and as I passed her talking to them, she said I don't know what happened, I just fell over......

The Run:

What can I say? As I was going out, I saw the first folks coming in from the run to the finish. I saw Jaime from Endurance House fly by me towards the finish, then a couple other EH folks. It was really hot, and I thought to myself "Put a fork in me I'm cooked." That pretty much sums it up. I ran the downhills, walked the ups (not much of either, it was a really flat course) My plan was to run 2 minutes, walk 2 minutes on the run...... which quickly became run 1, walk 3......... then run 1 walk 5, then 6, then 7, .......... then "oh screw it what am I losing 3 minutes a mile maybe to walk? Yep I'm walking, it's just too f'ing hot, I am too tired, what idiot thought this race would be fun? Oh yeah, that was me..."

There were plenty of water stops. Only 1 porta on the run course ...... ONE. I took some water here and there, and always made sure to get some ice and throw it into my bra. Then I would munch on the ice chips from my shirt if I needed one (gross, I know, but I really didn't much care at that point).

Not only did this take place on the highway, but parts of it were covered in gravel, thus creating a huge cloud of dust to walk through. As I got near the half point, I saw Mike coming by the other direction and talked a couple seconds. I was feeling OK, just couldn't run. Every time I tried, my HR just skyrocketed to 160's or higher and I could not sustain it. The turnaround was at the top of the only other hill on the course. No timing mat. .....I told the guy standing there that had I known there wasn't a mat I would have cut the course long ago. He thought I was kidding, I thought I probably wasn't.

On the way back, I decided to count roadkill on the course, since there was so much of it I thought it was a perfect way to occupy my time. I lost count at 5.89 million piles of stinky bones, guts, and fur. Then I started trying to figure out what animal or reptile they used to be.

Got back to the park, way later than planned, but I finished. I mustered up a slog for the last half mile through the finish to save face (like I fooled anyone :-)

What was left to eat? warm yogurt and brown bananas, yummy. They must have had pizza judging from the dozens of empty boxes in the supply truck, but none left for me.

The Good:

- Got it done

- Got to spend an enjoyable meals with the TriDummy family. They are great!

- Swim was awesome, perfect water, nice course, felt great

The Bad:

- Hilly bike, awful roads. I was scared to death or getting hit, flatting out, or falling over the entire time.

- Forgot about chamois butter......nuff said.

- my run plain sucked

- Hot, hot, hot. Absolutely NO shade on the course which definitely took its toll.

- i forgot to strip off my bike clothes for the run, so I ended up wearing my tri shorts, topped with my heavy shebeest bike shorts, a heavy sports bra, a long tri tank, and a sleeveless bike jersey. I was a tad overdressed for the run.... duh.

Would I do the Pig again? The shirt was cool, and we are apparently being sent a really cool original print with our finish picture mounted on it. Despite that, I will never be back to BFE Iowa to race. No Way.

Would I do another 70.3? Yeah, I think I would. I do like the distance and I knowingly sacrificed a lot of bike fitness, and a TON of run fitness to focus on the swim. It was just what we needed to do or I never would have seen Mike toe the line in the first place. So, yes I would do it again, but not without spending more time and effort on biking, running, and bricks.

The goal for the next one would be to arrive at the finish line before the pizza is all gone and before the massage people have packed up. Or at least have someone save me a slice...... sounds like a good job for a sherpa- any volunteers??

Random Olympic Thoughts

Michael Phelps is simply amazing. A God.

Dara Torres - Rock star mom swimmer. Love her.

If they call that Thorp guy "the Thorpedo" one more time I am literally going to vomit in my mouth.

Women swimmers are strangely built - no boobs, no neck, giant pipes. They could be men with nail polish and glitter shadow. But they are much neater swimmers and cut the water much more cleanly than those messy boys.

The Chinese gymnasts - they all look like 7 years old and were taken from their homes to start training at like age 4....... what is the deal with that?

When is track and field on? I am ready for some running races. And the tri team.

Favorite Lines from today's ride (almost forgot)

* "well, I think you named your bike." - Brian "Captain" Morgan. I was chanting the F word to myself as I hauled my big butt up the last ginormous hill towards the terrace as my quads screamed in pain.

* "You are just 8 shades of F'ed up today." -bigmike to me as I reached under the seat for the navigation thingy to get us to the great Dane for lunch and somehow gave myself a huge charlie horse in my neck.

Biting off more than you can chew isn't always a bad thing

Today we biked 1 loop if the Ironman Wisconsin course with Alison, Brian, and Jen, who are all on the cusp of an Ironman event (Brian and Alison are doing Wisconsin, Jen is doing Arizona). They have spent lots and lots of saddle time in the past few months, and while I started on a level playing field with Alison at the beginning of the summer, they are all far and above my abilities at the moment.

So of course when Alison suggested we do the IMWI course, I said sure, of course, love to. I have never done this course before but assumed it is much like everywhere else in Wisconsin I have ridden, so how different could it really be? Should we do one loop or two? Mike's response was he would rather do 1 loop (63 miles), but if we did 2 (85 miles) he and I would do an extra 15 somewhere to make it an even 100.

Fast forward to this morning. It was cold....I had on a tank top and bike shorts. It was chilly at 7am, but we hoped to warm up a bit as we went forward. Right from the start I felt like I was struggling. I was at the end of the pack, hanging on for dear life and more often than not I was falling off. We went up and down a ton of hills right from the start. Flying down hill on Whalen Road, I was smacked square in the mouth by some sort of mammoth bug that left me with a welt on my lip and bug guts on my teeth. They tasted awful. By the time I got to about 7.5 miles, I had nearly convinced myself that I couldn't do this today and I was going to turn around and nap in the car until everyone up ahead of me got back.

Problem: I realized Mike had the car keys. Rats, guess I keep going.

Thankfully for me, Jen doubled back a couple times to ride with m and offered up some encouragement. (She is a wicked fast biker by the way.) I was glad she scooped me up, it made a big difference to have someone turn around and realize I was still back there when everyone else was quickly biking out of sight.

Problem: I had no map and was constantly worried that I was going to be lost somewhere on the side of the road in BFE and no one would notice I was gone.

I kept running through what was going on ....... why was I going so slow? Why was I working so hard and not able to keep up? I had no explanation and was feeling just plain outbiked.

About mile 28-point-something, we pulled into a Kwik Trip in Mount Horeb felling just grouchy, bitchy, and hungry. I hadn't had anything to eat along the way yet, I was working too hard to keep up to even think about eating a bar or popping some beans. When I came outside after using the potty, Mike is messing with my bike. Uh, honey, you have been biking with your front brake on. So, I guess that explains some of the question of why am I putting forth so much effort and going nowhere. Here I thought I just sucked. Come to find out I only kinda sucked and had my brakes on.

Well, the front wheel was free-er after that, but my legs were feeling cooked. There were some nice screaming downhills coming up, some of them kind of technical with twists and turns. There were also plenty of hills. I got up the first of the Bitch Hills, but ended up walking at least a part of each of the last 2 hills of the Bitch Hill trio.

I was never so glad to get off my bike and be done as I was today. I was outbiked, overconfident, and underprepared. But I did it, and it's ta-done. Now the question is, would I be able to add another 50 miles to that loop and follow it up with a marathon?

Lessons Learned the Hard Way Today:

* IMWI bike course is way hillier that I gave it credit for and it totally kicked my ass. I need to get my butt on my bike more and spend plenty of time on hills, especially those ones I hate on Johnson Road.

* Um, check to make sure your bike is in proper order before you climb on and take off. Biking with your brakes on is flipping hard!

* Take your allergy medicine before taking a 4 hour ride in the country, past hay fields and farms. Makes for a much less snotty day.

* Chamois butter just makes your hiney feel greasy. And when you stop to pee you end up wiping it off the important parts anyway.

* I need to spend less time in the pool and more time on the bike and the run if I want to have a prayer of finishing in 17 hours.

* Bring a map so you can get back to the car if you get dropped!

* I bit off more than I can chew, but I made it through to the other side. Next time I will be ready.

Save the Ho Ho: Cycling Shorts Review...... Part 2

I have now had the chance to try a couple more pairs of shorts since my first post about this, so here is the the low down on the last 2 pairs:
Pearl Izumi Ultrasensor Shorts: First off, why do they call themselves Pearl Izumi? Their logo looks like IQ, so I am always calling their stuff IQ instead of Izumi, then no one knows what the french toast I am talking about.... Anyhoo, these shorts really were great. The pad was comfortable and it held up to the long ride well. As with every pair of shorts I own, they were tight around the leg opening because of the elastic, making some very unattractive leg bulges. I am CERTAIN it is all about the shorts and has nothing to do with my chubby flabby legs. (Don't burst my bubble here of you know what's good for ya).

DeSoto 400 Mile shorts: These were the first shorts I bought and the last to arrive. The shipping was free and I got my money's worth on it I guess. These shorts had the thinnest pad (the Century Pad) and were every bit as comfortable as the other 3 I tried. I haven't yet had a chance to to take them more than 20 miles, but they get 2 thumbs WAY up for the short test drive. I put them on after swimming (it's always a treat to try to get into spandex when you are still damp/wet from swimming), and they were fairly snug, but not the way the Trashy Cat shorts were -tight- but rather like they were trying to compress things and support, a lot like a good girdle or a pair of Spanx. Best of all, they don't have that elastic band around the legs, the legs are open which is what makes the 5 pairs of DeSoto tri shorts my favorite tri-shorts for short distance rides. These shorts had a back pocket, a deep mesh pocket you could fit a lot into - a phone, a sandwich, a camera, and perhaps a small dog. The downside to this pocket is it is very deep...... and bottoms out pretty low like you could pretty much fart all over whatever you put in that pocket. Not that I did. Or would admit it. That wouldn't be dainty, and I am so all about daintiness. Now here is where my decision was made. I was riding out Tripp road towards Footville on Tuesday and Alison rode up behind me and said "I don't normally check out people's asses, but those shorts make your butt look really narrow. I didn't recognize you." So there you have it. DeSoto wins, my butt looks narrow..........DING DING DING DING DING ......WE HAVE A WINNER!

SWATquathon Thursday

Tuesday we did the usual Tri-Out at Rockport (only a couple more left - WAHH!). Wasn't a big turnout, but it was a nice night ad a good moderately hard workout. I got eate alive by a couple of really big mosquitoes or small birds - not sure which- on the run ad the bites have been itching like CRAZY ever since.

Tonight, Mike and I went to Rockport for the SWATquathon (or Surf-n-Turf depending who you talk to...). Got 1100 meters in and a little over a 5K run. Mike went up ahead on the run with Gary Clark who I think was trying to kill Mike but he seemed to be holding his own. I was feeling pretty good on the run tonight, not like FAST mind you but good. I even ran up Rockport hill all the way, which I never do and it felt pretty good.

Sunday we are biking the IMWI course with Alison and I think Darin, not sure who all else is going. I have never done the whole course, just bits and pieces of it, so that should be interesting!

So T-10days to Pigman. The water temp is 80 per Mike, so not wetsuit legal..... still haven't decided if I will wetsuit it anyhow which will disqualify me from awards (award for what? slowest chubby lady??). I can swim. I can bike. I will TOTALLY be faking the run. Don't tell anybody though..... I want them to think I know what I'm doing!

What the French, Toast??

My sister commented that to me recently- Cracked.Me.Up. I have said it like a million times this weekend.

Should have been a pretty strong week for me this week. I held back on the bike because I knew I had the century on Saturday so didn't plan a lot of biking the rest of the week.

Got a Tri-Out in on Tuesday with SWAT. Showed up for a SBR night to find that Rockport was closed due to a poop accident in the pool (wasn't me- I swear!), so we did an hour bike instead of a swim and looped back to pick up any stray riders for the regular 6pm bike and Mike, Brian, and I drove over to Edison to swim instead of doing another longer hot bike that the rest of the group did. We came back to the park afterwards to try to pick up the SWATTies for the transition run, but ended up doing it by ourselves. It felt wrong to do the bike first, weird.

Thursday, we had planned to do the Aquathon (Swim-Run race) in Madison in the evening. CANCELLED due to blue-green algae in the lake, which is apparently toxic. What's a little poison between friends anyhow? Well, Alison and Mike cooked up our own little SWATquathon and we met up at Rockport for a swim, followed by a little longer run. It was kinda fun and I think we are going to make it a regular Thursday night adventure!

Planned run several other days, but frankly it has been so flipping HOT this week, I tried to wait out the heat after work and didn't get a lot done, except for the Tuesday Bike-Swim-Run, and a Swim -Run Thursday.

Saturday, we were set and ready for our first real century ride. We packed our bikes, We packed our gear. We packed some snacks. We packed the chamois butter. At 0500 everyone showed up in our driveway to caravan over to Elkhorn and ride a quick 100 miles (well not really quick....)

............ and then the phone rang. Day nurse called in sick and they couldn't find a replacement. So instead of riding my first century, I went to work for a 12 hour shift on top of my already completed 40 for the week (for free! I love being salaried!). I sent Mike on his way with the SWAT caravan and bummed on it all day, wondering how he was doing and worrying about him in the heat. I just knew without the boss around, he would probably fall off the edge of the earth or something.

So basically this week became just another rest week, with all my best laid plans going to shit right quick. Next week I need to kick it into high gear and get some serious miles in so I can take a taper week before Pigman.

Also cracking me up this weekend:

After Mike was done with his bike yesterday, he called me on the way home to give me an update. Went like this:
J: well how did it go?

M: OK, yeah it was a long ride. I'm just driving home. (groan) Oh man, I have to shit.

J: Do you need me to let you go?

M: No I'll tell you about the ride. Man, I gotta go, like right now. Anyway, it was a long ride. I had like 10 flats. Man there isn't like a McDonalds or a gas station anywhere around here.....

J: Are you OK?

M: Yeah, fine. Yeah, it was fun...... I am going to end up crapping my pants. Oh I remembered where I saw a porta. I'll talk to ya later.

CLICK.

It was really OK that he hung up. I was laughing so hard, I would have wet my pants and needed to find a bathroom too.

Save the Ho Ho: Cycling Shorts Review

TMI Alert: If you don't want to talk girly parts and sit bones, stop reading here. Consider yourself warned. :-)

So this summer, we have spent several long days in the saddle. Last summer we rode 20-30 miles 4-6 days a week. This summer, we are riding less days but longer distances, usually 40-60, with a 100 miler coming up this weekend. The extended sitting time is taking a painful toll on the lady parts area. About mile 30 lately, I start to consider maybe standing up for the last 20 or so miles of my ride to avoid sitting down any longer. I think it is boiling down to a problem with my shorts or a problem with my seat. Since I have been OK with the seat until the ride gets longer, it seems like the shorts are the best route to try fixing first.

A few weeks back, I read in Bicycling Magazine about some shorts called Trashy Cat Satin Shorts. They were rated as the best shorts under $100. So since the experts recommended them, I started there. Fit: REALLY small, like almost too tight small. I know I've put on 15 pounds since last summer, but yeah WAY WAY WAY tighter than they should have been. Comfort: Okay, but still some discomfort near the end of a long ride. Binding around the legs was uncomfortable. Bottom Line: They were OK, but not that much different that what I already had and would order a size up from what I would normally order. Um yeah, fat girls REALLY don't like to size UP...

So the research continued. Next up was a pair of shorts called the SheBeest SB Ultra D Shorts. I tried them out this weekend and they were really comfortable. The Century Stretch Pad gave good pressure relief and I had no real discomfort. Disadvantage: The pad is bulky and may not lend itself well to triathlon running, unless of course the expectation is you run in a diaper. Overall a good long distance short, but may cause some chafing later on the run.

Other pending reviews: I have also purchased a pair of Pearl Izumi UltraSensor Shorts (women's version with the 3D Elite chamois pad) and a pair of DeSoto 400 mile Shorts. I'll let you know how that goes. I suspect nothing will be perfect, but may each have their purposes.

I hope so. Changing saddles would be a much bigger ordeal for me. Too.Many.Choices. WAY.TOO.MANY.TO.CHOOSE.

All I really want is a pair of shorts that does make me feel like my ass could eat my seat...why is that so hard?

Happy Sweet 16 L.Dub!!!

16 years ago today Lucas joined our family and life has never been the same. Through the years, he has brought us a lot of joy and laughter. He has bled us dry of money for new clothes and high tops to match every outfit, miles and miles of driving to practice, games, movies, and ...... yeah lets not even get into the groceries thing. I wouldn't trade one single minute!

I hope your day has been great and wish you many, many, many more happy birthdays. Wish Beefcake a happy birthday!

Now I have to go and find my lucky license plate socks for his Drivers test tomorrow......

Spirit of Racine Triathlon 70.3.... The race report

Saturday we headed up to Racine for registration and bike racking. It was icky and spitting rain, which made me nervous about race day, so I tried not to think about it and cranked up the tunes...
We went to the expo to pick up our packets. I had packed several options for race apparel, but while we were there I bought one more pair of bike shorts, just because you never know....
We checked into the hotel, ate some bad pizza at Rocky's (I didn't know it was even possible to have BAD Rocky's, but I guess it is), and headed down to North Beach Park to get our bikes racked. I was glad to see that Mike and I were racked within a couple rows of each other to make it easy to see that we had been in and out of transition and keep track of each other.
After racking we headed down to the beach to check things out. We had intended to swim - we brought the wetsuits but forgot the swimsuits. I was game to go in anyway with the bra and underpants as a suit substitute, but Mikey vetoed that. I didn't cry about it. We walked down to the shore to find a lot of nervous folks trying to brave a dip in the water. We saw lots of blue lips and shivering - YIKES!
Walking back to the car, we ran into KT, who we had invited to room with us after hers fell through. After a little chitchat, we went our separate ways so she could get her stuff done and get to the hotel to get settled.
Mike and I went to dinner at Infusino's with the SWAT folks, while Kate went to supper with some friends. Dinner was great - Orange Roughy, baked potato, and salad (and soup I didn't eat). Too much food for next to nothing (our bill was $15 for more food than we could eat in a week)- the theory of the night was maybe there were mob connections or something. Who cares - it was awesome!
We went back to the hotel where I could check the lake temps repeatedly. We messed around a while, then Mike got to sleep with two women, which is not as much fun as you might think... :-)
We were up at 4:30 and got ourselves ready. Breakfast, packing, and down to the lake to get worked up about the race.
We were set to go off at 7:24 (Mike) and 7:27 (me), which was quickly delayed an hour as we were socked in with fog so dense they had to move the buoys closer to shore and wait for it to lift some. We milled around the beach trying to get psyched up for the swim. Official temp: 56 degrees, warmer than last weekend but still colder than what we can get from the kitchen tap. I waded in the water on our way to the start and was happy to note that it felt a lot warmer than the last time I was in it. I was focused on keeping Mike from freaking out, so I spent a lot of time framing our conversation in positives which kept me from focusing on freaking out myself. The last thing I remember before we were all in the water was looking at Alison and saying "I have no business doing this - is it to late to rethink it?. I must be the stupidest f'ing person alive." And then we were off.

The Swim:
It was cold, no doubt about it. We were able to touch the ground for most of it which was both good and bad - lots of people starting and stopping and walking. But when my hands went numb and when some chick powerkicked me in the ribs, I was able stand up and recover. The stroke was ugly. I did some freestyle with my face out the water (OMG cold) some breaststroke, and some other screwy strokes to keep my head up and warm. The first quarter mile was take-your-breath-away cold. About halfway down the beach I caught up with Mike. We swam together a while, then I got a little ahead and then I lost him. The last time I remember seeing him I stood up and was walking backwards in the water trying to find him. he waved when he saw me looking and I turned around to see the last buoy. I swam around it and in to shore. I think I was 35 minutes from shore to shore plus a staggering walk up the beach getting my bearings back. I watched for Mike to come into transition and was just buckling my shoes deciding that I was waiting until I saw him before I left so I wouldn't worry. And then there he was. I ran out and gave him a quick hug, and then got my bike and took off.

The Bike:
This felt a lot like the bikes we ride around here all the time. It was not nearly as flat as I was expecting, but I was able to stay in aero bars for much of it. I haven't taken near enough bikes by myself this year and I found myself waffling around between self-pep talks and telling myself I was too slow, couldn't do it, whatever. The last 15 miles or so my left foot was burning an numb, something new and different.
I need to work on another combination of seat and shorts - my HoHo was a hurting mess (thanks Kitty for that phrase).
Garmin has me at 3:32 for 56 miles. It felt faster, but it is what it is. I haven't been on the bike as frequently as I did last summer and I can tell.

The Run:
Getting off the bike was a treat. I thought I was going to fall over going under the arch back into transition. I was still bike woozy after getting my running shoes on so decided to walk the first half mile to get my bearing. I still couldn't feel my left foot much and when I did there was a great big cramp in it. I walked up the hills, the few that there were, and I did a run 2 minutes, walk 2 minutes pattern for a while.
That's about where the run went to hell on the express train. As I got feeling back in my foot, I felt like I had a marble in my shoe, right in the middle of the ball of my foot. I bet I took my shoe off to try to clear that non-existent pebble 15 times. The more I ran the worse it hurt, so I was doing a LOT of walking, trying to go as quickly as I could. I knew if I didn't keep moving under 15 minute miles I wasn't going to make the cutoff. So, I walked quick, ran what little I could and kept at it. Emotionally it was wearing. I was hot, sunburned, and tired. When I would see someone coming that I recognized I got all teared up, not sure why. I took water at all the aid stations, ate my sports beans, and filled my hat and bra with ice to try to keep cool.
I thought I had a handle on things until I got to the halfway point, where you can see the finish line and then have to turn and go out on your second loop. That started a pity party as I walked down the road trying not to cry. I saw Darin and he asked how I was doing and I started crying. I was definitely not "TRI'ing for fun" at that point and was thinking about punching the next person who asked me if I was having fun yet (The back of the SWAT shirt I was wearing said "SWAT TEAM we TRI for fun" ). Pretty soon Kitty ran up beside me and walked with me a while. I had thought I saw her finish, but really she was going out on her second loop too. We walked a little while together and that really helped me out. I kept at it trying to run/walk. End result was a pathetic run time of 3:13, 45 minutes slower than my stand alone half marathon time.

End result: I made the cutoff with about 25 minutes to spare. So I am happy to have made it, but I can see I have work to do.

On the way home I checked out my foot. The "marble/pebble" I was feeling was a huge blister forming on the ball of my foot, like an extra toe growing out of the bottom of my foot. Part of my foot is still numb yet now. here is my theory in retrospect: I put my run shoes on with numb feet and the sock was wadded up under the ball of my feet, creating (or maybe exacerbating?) a blister. I think maybe there is some nerve impingement somewhere in the foot, given the persistent numbness and the type of foot pain I was having, like knives cutting through my foot.

Boneheaded things not to do next time:
- I forgot sunscreen. I have some wicked bad sunburn. I feel like I am on fire.
- Find better shorts. My ass hurts.
- change socks between the bike and the run. I think it would have made a big difference in preventing pain
- Focus on running between now and pigman.
- I continue to be frustrated by the number of people we knew were there and never saw- Erin, xt4, Megan, Ironpol, Running Jayhawk, etc. I would have loved to have met these folks in real life and have some awkward weird meeting with folks we blog with. I do that at every event - it makes me feel like an idiot for missing these opportunities.

The good stuff:
- KT was a great roommate. Awesome.
- We did it. It was harder that I thought it would be, but we did it. And made the cutoff with time to spare.
- No real nutrition issues despite not planning it too well or practicing it much. I just went with what has worked in other events and kept the water coming.
- I did finally pee for the first time since about 6 am, about 5pm when we stopped to change clothes and buy cold drinks at Piggly Wiggly. I was beginning to convince myself my kidney had shut down, so that was good.
-There were at least a dozen people behind me at the finish. Wasn't last...
- The spectators and volunteers were great.
- As usual the SWAT folks lifted me up when I was down and mad me feel better. I am so thankful to have that great bunch of people in my life. THey are simply awesome.

Pictures and race results should be forthcoming. I am just too tired now to work all that out.